


SugarDaddiesErebor.com

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Awkwardness, Bilbo and Ori are poor Uni graduates, Bilbo is just confused, Bottom!Bilbo, Bottom!Ori, Consenting Adults, Fluff, M/M, Modern AU, Online Dating, Smut, Thorin and Dwalin are rich as fuck, Top!Dwalin, Top!Thorin, complete cannon divergence, erebor is a cosmopolian metropolis, sexual situations of all kinds, tagging is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 21:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 36,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3585075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo and Ori are two broke University graduates with nothing to their name but their degrees and a tiny flat. Ori gets tired of it and signs them both up to find Sugar Daddies via a very helpful website. Bilbo has apprehensions until he meets a certain brooding man named Thorin. Then things just get even more confusing...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Step is the Profile...

**Author's Note:**

> This is an fictional story for fictional stories' sake, I'm not trying to make you think that I'm perpetuating this kind of thing, but it should at least be a good read! Don't take life or this too seriously.

“Ori, do you really think that this is a good idea?”

Bilbo stood behind his friend and housemate, both of them leaning towards the bright glow of Ori’s dingy laptop.

The two had met at University, and now were graduates with a degree in Writing and Literature in their pockets, but nothing else to their name other than their tiny flat and last night’s take-out. It had been Ori’s idea that they sign up for ‘SugarDaddiesErebor.com’, after being completely fed up with their miserable situation.

Ori saw it as nothing to lose and everything to gain when it came to the prospect of meeting a wealthy older man who could help out financially in exchange for companionship. Bilbo, on the other hand, had a great deal of reservations. First and foremost because he felt a bit like a prostitute, even though the site states that physical relations are not to be expected by either party (as part of the terms and conditions that the duo actually read). The second source of his fears came from watching too many CSI type shows, and he was sure he was going to end up murdered or sold or something of the like. And thirdly, he didn’t know what the chance was of actually finding an older gentleman that was good-looking.

Sure, Bilbo knew he liked to date guys a bit older than him, but did that mean that he could go out with someone who was in their forties or fifties? He supposed that it would be a case by case basis, since there were plenty of good-looking forty something year olds out there.

“We can’t keep living like this Bilbo, I’m poor and lonely. What if my true love is on this site?”

“Not bloody likely.” Bilbo mumbled.

“Fair enough.” Ori agreed as he diligently typed his information into the laptop, “If not my true love, than why not just a nice guy to go to dinner with? If I eat another order of ‘authentic’ Thai noodles I think I’m gonna die.”

Bilbo agreed wholeheartedly, he was a person who loved fine food, but fine food is a luxury when you living on the pay checks of two baristas with student loans crushing them. It would be some time before they would be able to properly support themselves, especially when they were both trying to become novelists in a big city like Erebor.

“Well, they do say that authors need life experience,” Bilbo said slowly, trying to convince himself that this wasn’t the stupidest idea in the world, “And it would be nice to meet someone.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ori cheered, “I’ve got all my info up, we’ll do yours once we’ve taken our profile pic's.”

“Wait!” Bilbo panicked, “I have to show my face?”

Ori huffed, “Of course you do! They’ll want to see who they’re talking too. Now stand up and stand by the wall while I take your picture.”

Bilbo stood against the cleanest white wall their apartment had to offer, it was the most suitable backdrop that they could manage.

Bilbo fiddled with the hem of his pale marigold coloured long sleeved shirt. He couldn’t help but think, weren’t the men on these sites looking for someone sexy? He was far from it, in his opinion, choosing to sport himself in a sweater-vest over his shirt and tidy black jeans that had no rips or anything flamboyant. His unusually large feet were covered by black oxfords that he made a point to keep immaculately polished. He had been told that his mop of unruly honey blond curls are very cute, and his big green doe-eyes, but would they really be appealing to the type of man who would sign up for this sort of thing?

Ori snapped the picture without Bilbo noticing, the flash of his friend’s phone frightening him.

“Ok, now you take mine.” Ori said, handing the phone to Bilbo, who was still dazed and confused as to what was happening.

Ori was a bit more prepared for his pic, there was a hint of playfulness in his brown eyes. He was dress in a dark sweater that fitted him well, and helped to make his bright, fiery hair to stand out. He kept it a little long, but not too far past his ears, and a nice set of whiskers that Bilbo could never have.

“Alright,” Ori smiled, “Let’s get these on the internet.”

Bilbo exhaled, trying to dispel what remained of his reservations, but having very little luck. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Come on Bilbo, be adventurous!”

“I guess a little adventure couldn’t hurt…”


	2. The Second Step is Attracting Interest...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the awesome responses!

“Dwalin, this is the stupidest thing that you’ve ever done… Stupider than the time you thought you could hide your receding hairline with a Mohawk.”

“Fuck you, Thorin.”

The two friends glared at each other before Thorin gave up with an exhausted sigh. He didn’t have the patience to deal with this right now. In fact, he had very little patience for anything.

“Listen,” Dwalin grumbled, continuing on from what he was saying, “You’re a grumpy old bastard who needs to meet someone, and I’m a gorgeous older gentleman who wants to meet someone, so why is it stupid?”

“Because signing up for a sugar daddy website makes you look creepy. And I don’t want to be associated with you when you go to jail for it.”

Dwalin scoffed, “It’s perfectly legit, consenting adults and all that. It’s not prostitution, you’re just paying for a boyfriend who happens to be young and attractive. What have we got to lose? All you do is work and I’m tired of one night stands.”

“Why can’t you just do this on your own?”

“Because we’re best friends. And best friends do everything together-“

“Not this.”

“-AND I think it will be good for you, as well as me. I’ve already done most of it, you just need to write up your profile, so why not just come with me to look over all the possible choices?”

Thorin groaned and rubbed his temples. There was no stopping Dwalin once he had an idea in his head, and when he involved Thorin it meant that he was either nervous or scared. Thorin felt a little bad for his friend, he was obviously lonely and needed someone, and he clearly couldn’t take that first step without Thorin by his side.

“Fine, show me.”

 

This was no way for a pair of millionaires to act. At their age, they should be married or with a long-time partner. But with Thorin’s workaholic tendencies and Dwalin’s non-committal attitude, they both remained mostly single. And now, at forty-two, they were secure in their careers and in their finances, but with no one to spend their money on or their time with, save for each other, but neither of them liked that arrangement.

They sat in Dwalin’s office, which had a large oak desk and a spectacular view of the sprawling city beneath, but both their eyes were focused on the numerous beauties on the screen of Dwalin’s expensive computer.

“That one’s cute.”

“I don’t like piercings.”

“What about this one? He’s clearly flexible if he can get that kind of picture.”

“Nice ass, but vacant eyes. I don’t want to feel like I’m talking to a lamp post.”

“Oh!” Dwalin exclaimed, freezing on a fresh profile, “This one’s mine.”

Thorin looked from the picture of a playful looking red-head to the description.

Name: Ori Rison

Age: 23

Occupation: Barista

Aspirations: Novelist

What are you looking for?  
‘I want a nice guy to take me to places and occasionally buy me gifts. I love to discuss books and movies, or basically any topic, I’m not too picky. I’d love for my man to be big and make me feel safe when I’m around him. If he takes care of me I’ll take care of him! I love beards, but not moustaches by themselves. If you like to drink, I’m sure I can rival you, no problem.’

Dwalin grinned widely and bookmarked the page, “He’s clearly got some fire in him!”

“I’m sure he does.” Thorin mumbled in response.

“Now let’s find you one.” Dwalin said as he began scrolling again.

Thorin paid little attention to the parade of young men who put themselves in suggestive or downright slutty poses. It wasn’t until he caught a glimpse of something different that he heard himself say, “Wait, scroll back up.”

There was a picture of a curly haired youth, and he almost looked surprised. His eyes were wide and his expression a little scared. Thorin couldn’t help but feel something stir in him that made him want to know more. He wouldn’t like to admit out loud that he had a bit of a kink for innocence.

Name: Bilbo Baggins

Age: 23

Occupation: Barista

Aspirations: Novelist

What are you looking for?  
‘I’d like to state first and foremost that my friend made me sign up. But if you are interested I suppose I could provide conversation. I don’t really know what I’m looking for, I feel bad asking for gifts and such, but I suppose they would simply come with this sort of thing. But I’d much rather a good chat. In terms of physical preferences, I like to date men that are taller than me, and I can’t deny that I have a weakness for broad shoulders. Facial hair is optional, but respect isn’t. You have to treat me well or there’s nothing here for you. And I’d prefer it if you weren’t using me to cheat on your spouse/significant other. Thank you.

“So, does ‘Bilbo’ have your approval?” Dwalin asked with a knowing smirk. He’d known Thorin long enough to recognise his horny expression.

Thorin huffed, feeling oddly flushed, “Alright, fine. I’ll take this one.”

 

“Do you think we could afford orange juice this week?” Ori asked as he peered into the nearly empty fridge.

“Not if we want to pay the phone bill.” Bilbo replied as he absently flipped through the channels on TV.

“Drat.” Ori protested. He gave up and sat down next to Bilbo on their dirty floral print couch. “Anything on?”

“Nothing interesting. Maybe we could just watch a movie on your laptop?”

“Yeah alright.” Ori flipped open his laptop, which lit up and began working loudly. The fan was so old and useless that the noise never ceased, it was probably filled with dust and crumbs, the keys stuck from years of overuse.

Before they could discuss what they were going to watch, Ori gave a noise of pure excitement that nearly scared Bilbo out of his skin. 

“I got an email! A sugar daddy wants me!” He was practically squealing in excitement.

“Well, read it then,” Bilbo said with a grin, “First step to true love and a full stomach, right?”

Ori did open it, both read the message with great interest.

‘To: Ori  
Subject: A date  
Hi, my name’s Dwalin, and I think I’m exactly what you’re looking for. And I know you’re exactly what I’m looking for. I’d like to propose a double date with you, my friend and my friend’s date. Are you free tomorrow at lunchtime? I know a great little place.’

“He certainly has a lot of confidence.” Bilbo said when he finished reading, “What do you think? Gonna go for it?”

“Once I check out his profile and see that everything is on the up and up.” Ori said with a smug expression. He clicked the link that sent him to SugarDaddiesErebor.com, and Dwalin’s profile popped up.

‘Name: Dwalin Fudin

Age: 42

Occupation: Co-Chairman of Durin Industries 

Aspirations: Finding a cutie to date

What are you looking for?  
I’ll make this simple, I’m a rich guy with all the money in the world and no one to spend it on. If you’re cute, spirited and interesting, then I’ll like you. I don’t want to date people with nothing between their ears, I like to talk about interesting things and I hate it when people stare vacuously at me, laughing about shit they don’t understand. I’m partial to the slender ones, height isn’t an issue really, since the chances of you being taller than me are slim. Drop me a line if I’m the daddy you’re looking for.’

They both turned their gaze to the profile picture, and in it stood a mountain of a man with a shaved head and a beard the screamed ‘Viking’. There was a line of runes tattooed around his skull, and a line of gold rings on each finger. He was clearly wealthy, if the expensive looking suit and bling was anything to go by.

“Wow.” Ori breathed, “He’s amazing! He’s the size of a professional wrestler but dressed like a forties gangster.”

Bilbo agreed, he did have that kind of look, maybe it was the bulging muscles and the pin striped suit…

“Well, good for you Ori, I bet he’s wonderful.” Bilbo tried to sound sincere in order to mask the fact that he thought the man looked a little terrifying.

“Who do you think his friend will be? I’d better reply and ask.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good-“ Bilbo stopped when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out and saw that it was an email notification… from a potential sugar daddy.

“Oh, goodness.” Bilbo muttered as his face heated up. He clicked on the message;

‘To: Bilbo

Subject: Perhaps a date?

I’m Thorin, and like you I was coerced into signing up for that strange website. My friend won’t leave me alone until I go on at least one date, and I thought perhaps we could suffer together? Would you consider a lunch date? My friend is planning on one for lunch tomorrow and would like me there with a date also. It’s is your choice.’

Ori typed in the name ‘Thorin’, and up came the profile of Bilbo’s mystery suitor.

Name: Thorin Durin

Age: 42

Occupation: Co-chairman of Durin Industries

Aspirations: I just want to be left in peace.

What are you looking for?

If I am to choose a type, I suppose I have a penchant for curls and a sharp wit. I don’t want to feel like I’m babysitting an overgrown child, I find that sensibility has its own charm. I am grumpy most days, so be wary of that.

Bilbo looked over to Ori, “Well, I think we know who the friend is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short but they will get longer! Please leave a comment : )


	3. The Third Step is Meeting Up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the comments! they give me the motivation to write! so thank you!

Thorin didn’t know why it was that he was thinking about his date so much, sure, Bilbo was cute, but there were plenty of cute people in the city, some who were more age appropriate for him. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something utterly irresistible about that sweet looking blond with the big doe eyes. Thorin had been giddy when he got a reply… Thorin Durin, giddy. What a ridiculous notion that was, that a grown man such as Thorin Durin would be giddy about something. He hoped that the feeling was something that would pass, and not become a reoccurring thing. It simply wasn’t respectable. 

He didn’t even know why it was that he had saved Bilbo’s profile picture on his phone when Dwalin wasn’t looking. It was such an odd thing for him to do. His hands must have moved on their own, and he would stick to this argument until his dying breath.

“Did your date confirm?” Dwalin asked Thorin as he entered the others office without knocking.

“Yes, he did. Almost within ten minutes of sending the invite. We’re meeting at Bombur’s bakery tomorrow at noon.”

“Good.” Dwalin laughed, “Now make sure you look sharp, I know it’s been a while since you last dated but-“

“What’s this about Thorin having a date?”

The two turned their gaze to the door where Bard, the head of their legal department, stood with a quirked brow.

Dwalin smirked, “Yer, Thorin’s finally going to socialize instead of going to a bar and drinking alone. It’s shocking isn’t it? Never thought I’d see the day.” Dwalin laughed out-right as Thorin gave him a swift backhand.

“It was you’re idea, you’re the one who didn’t want to go on your date alone.” Thorin grumbled.

“Aww, how sweet, two little teenagers with crushes!”

Another person joined them, standing behind Bard with one slender hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Thranduil.” Thorin growled, “Why are you here?”

“I’m here to take my man out for dinner. Trust me, if I could avoid looking at your ugly faces I would.”

“Seriously Brad, why are you still with that bitch?” Dwalin asked crossly.

Bard simply smiled and shook his head, “We’ve been together for twenty years, Dwalin, and we have four kids. I think it’s clear that were not separating any time soon.” Thranduil kissed Bard’s cheek, flipping his middle finger at Dwalin and Thorin as the two walked away.

Thranduil Greenleaf and Bard Bowman had been together since their early twenties, having had four kids via surrogacy. Their oldest, Legolas, was about to begin University, their oldest daughter Sigrid was still in highschool, and their two youngest Bain and Tilda were in grade school. Thorin and Dwalin had known the pair for a long time, they liked Bard but they always seemed to clash with Thranduil. Unfortunately, they were a package deal so there was no way around Thranduil snark.

“Anyway,” Dwalin continued, “I called Bombur and reserved us the best table.”

“You don’t think that they’ll be intimidated, going to a café that takes reservations? One that’s on the East side of town and between Louis Vuitton and Chanel?”

Dwalin smirked, “They’re looking for sugar daddies, right? So it’s up to us to show them how much sugar we can provide. That means only the best café’s, restaurants, and bars.”

Thorin exhaled and ran his fingers through his dark locks, it all sounded strange, and yet, there was an element of excitement to it. He couldn’t say it to Dwalin, but he liked the idea of introducing someone to his lavish lifestyle, someone who might actually appreciate it, unlike his nephews or his siblings.

But all Thorin could do for now was work, go home to his penthouse apartment, and lie in bed think of what would come the next day.

 

Lunch time all too slowly for Thorin’s liking, making him even grumpier then usual. His employee’s seemed to sense this, and steered clear of him, not breathing easy again until he and Dwalin picked up their coats and left.

Thorin’s driver, Bofur, picked them up out front of their work building in Thorin’s sleek black car.

“Where to, sir?” Bofur asked with a bright, moustache-y smile.

“Don’t call me sir, Bofur.” Thorin grumbled. He often wondered why it was that he ended up with such odd friends. Especially Bofur, who is as financially stable as Thorin through his artwork, but begged to be Thorin’s driver because he ‘likes driving.’

“Bombur’s bakery.” Dwalin answered impatiently, “We’ve got an important date to keep.”

“It’s unlike you to be so adamant about being on time, but I’ll get you there in a flash!” 

Bofur may be a renowned artist, but that had nothing on his driving. He always managed to get Thorin where he needed to go with no problems at all.

They arrived with five minutes to spare, which was fine for both of them. They walked in and were greeted by Bombur himself, who was standing at the greeter’s spot, waiting for them. 

He had reasons as to why he was so eager to please his old friends, the biggest one being that Thorin and Dwalin were his biggest investors when he was still a fledgling pastry chef. The other reason being that the two tipped generously and ordered the most expensive things on the menu.

The two looked like they belonged there, which is to say that they looked as rich as the chocolate in Bombur’s famous mud cake. Dwalin seemed to have a liking for pin striped suits, with the one he was currently wearing having very dark aubergine lines along the black material for his coat and pants. Thorin was a straight up one colour suit kind of person, choosing to go with the classic black coat and pants, with the white silk button down and a black tie. His hair was kept at a manageable shortness, but was combed in a way as to give it a bit of a flare at the front. 

“Thorin, Dwalin! Come in, come in!” Bombur greeted brightly, “I have the table you requested, set for four and out of the way.”

“Have our dates arrived yet?” Dwalin asked as Bombur led past the other affluent customers.

“Not yet, but I’ll bring them over as soon as they do. But for now, would you like to order anything?”

“I’ll wait.” Thorin replied in his gruff manner.

“Me too.” Dwalin said as he scanned the drinks menu, “I don’t know what Ori would prefer.”

Thorin snorted at his friend and got a glare in return.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it then.” Bombur smiled, making his way back to the greeters spot.

Dwalin’s leg bounced impatiently under the table, much to Thorin’s irritation, but he could sympathize with the sentiment. 

 

Bilbo and Ori stood outside the café with the sign ‘Bombur’s Bakery’ elegantly scribed on a sign above the door. They had a touch of awe and trepidation in both of their expressions. They had taken the train and then walked five blocks to get here, to a side of town they thought they’d never see, and now that they were here they didn’t know what to do.

“I don’t think I can do this Ori.” Bilbo swallowed thickly.

“I know, it’s a bit much, but we’ve come this far, it would be a shame to turn back now.” Ori replied with an equal amount of struggle.

“Are we really going to a café that’s between Louis Vuitton and Chanel? Are we REALLY?” Bilbo stressed in disbelief.

“Yes we are.” Ori said, trying to force confidence, “And we are going to have a good time. Now come on.”

The moment they walked in they feel painfully out of place, having worn the exact same thing that they had worn in their profile pictures. Their thinking was that it would make them more recognisable, but the truth was also that they simply didn’t own that many outfits. Bilbo felt that the only thing that fit in were his shoes.

 

Thorin saw Bombur approaching the table again, but he was so darn big that Thorin couldn’t see his date until he was only a few steps away.

Bilbo was entirely too adorable, Thorin inwardly groaned at the sight of him. Was it legal to look that achingly pure? All Thorin could think of was taking this boy home with him, dressing him in the finest silk shirts and then tearing them from his body before he proceeded to fucked him within an inch of his life. He looked innocent, but Thorin would bet good money that once he got going he would be a real screamer, and he probably had the sexiest moan-

“So, um, you’re Mr Durin?” 

Thorin was pulled away from his fantasy when he heard the sweet yet cautious voice of Bilbo Baggins. He realised now that he was staring our-right at the poor fellow. No wonder he looked a little frightened.

“Yes, I am, but call me Thorin.” His eyes darted around from the table to Bilbo, and then to Dwalin, who was standing so he could pull a seat out for Ori.

“Ah, please sit.” Thorin said with a gesture to the empty spot opposite him.

“Thank you.” Bilbo replied politely.

There was five seconds of silence, five miserable seconds of silence before Dwalin spoke.

“What do you think of the café?”

“It’s amazing!” Ori said with genuine wonder in his tone, “I’ve never been to a place this fancy.”

“Our friend is the owner and head chef.” Thorin added, trying to rid himself of his nervous feeling.

“The food must be really good,” Bilbo said with a touch of anticipation, “Judging by these prices.”

“Oh it really is,” Thorin confirmed all too forcefully, “I mean, you never go hungry or unsatisfied when it comes to Bombur. He’s a real artist with cake.”

‘A real artist with cake… real smooth there Thorin’. Thorin girt his teeth, inwardly groaning at his awkwardness.

But for some reason, Bilbo didn’t look put off, he looked like a glow of wonder surrounded him, as though the thought of good food was enough to induce a form ecstasy.

They opened their menus in silence, but Thorin couldn’t help but notice the flirty looks Ori and Dwalin were sending each other. Thorin felt envious, he could do nothing but send a glare Bilbo’s way, one that was left unnoticed as Bilbo’s eyes were fixed on the extensive menu of decadent treats. 

Thorin could help the way he stared as Bilbo’s deliciously pink tongue swept across his plump lips, his mind on the food. Thorin would cover himself in cake and sweets if it meant Bilbo would look at him like that.

Bombur returned the table with a notepad and a pen in hand, “Ready to order?”

Dwalin spoke first, “I’ll have a black coffee, no sugar, and a steak sandwich. And you, Ori?”

Ori’s faced flashed bright red under the heavy gaze of his date, “I’ll have the same, but with a chocolate milkshake instead of coffee.”

Bombur nodded as he took down the order, “Ok, and you, Thorin?”

“Flat white, one sugar, and a chicken fillet.” He answered, closing his menu. He looked at Bilbo and saw a touch of apprehension in his eyes, he wanted to ease his mind, “You know, you can order whatever you want, Bilbo.”

It seemed to be exactly what he wanted to hear, he nodded once with a cute blush spreading across his face. “A-Alright.” He exhaled. “I’ll have a large banana milkshake with whip cream on top, a Chicken Caesar salad with extra chicken, a slice of strawberry cheesecake and a cappuccino with two sugars to come out with the cake.”

Bombur nodded as he scribbled down the rapid fire order. “Good, good. I’ll have your orders brought out in no time at all.” With that he left straight for the kitchen.

Thorin grinned widely at Bilbo, amusement in his eyes, “You sure like to eat.”

Bilbo felt a suffocating embarrassment spread through his chest, “I’m sorry, I just-“

“No, no, it’s fine,” Thorin quickly added, panicking when he saw Bilbo’s downtrodden expression, “I told you to order what you like. I’m just happy to see that you have a healthy appetite, I’m a little tired of eating with people who hardly touch their food.”

Bilbo felt comforted by the words, and sent Thorin a smile that nearly had Thorin coming in his pants. 

Thorin watched as Bilbo devoured his order with no trouble at all. He felt like it would have been rude to try and talk to the blond as he was so focused on his meal. He once again felt envious of Dwalin and Ori, who were intimately whispering to each other, both of them looking comfortable in the other’s presence already.

Even with the lack of conversation, Thorin felt happy that he could provide Bilbo with a meal that made him look so ridiculously happy. 

Ori seemed to shard the sentiment. “Man, I haven’t eaten that well in a long time! Last night we had the worst Chinese takeout.”

Dwalin smirked and leant a little closer to Ori, “Well if you liked this, then I know plenty of other little places that you’re going to love.”

“I look forward to it.” Ori said with a wink.

Bilbo laughed lightly at the two, shaking his head at the obvious flirting. Thorin quirked a brow at the two, his eyes meeting Bilbo’s as they shared their amusement.

Bombur came over with the bill and passed it to Thorin before he smiled at Ori and Bilbo, “Did you enjoy your meals?”

“It was fantastic!” Bilbo replied enthusiastically, “You have to tell me your cheesecake recipe!”

“Can’t,” Bombur laughed heartily, “Family secret. But I can certainly serve you more until you figure it out yourself.”

“I think I will take that challenge, Master Bombur.” Bilbo laughed in return.

Thorin tried to hide his smile as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. Bilbo gaped at him. He had never seen so much money in one place before! And Thorin was just carrying it around like it was nothing.

Thorin place three hundred on the bill tray, not even looking at how much the meal actually cost. He didn’t seem to care about how much extra he’d given. Bombur smiled, being reminded all over again why Thorin and Dwalin were his favourite customers.

It was then that Bilbo remember why he was on this date. It was to please this wealthy forty-two year old. His mind raced. What was he supposed to do now? Before he could figure it out, Dwalin and Ori rose from their seats.

“We’re going to the art gallery to check out the Botticelli exhibit.” Dwalin explained, “It’s not too far from here.”

“Is that ok Bilbo?” Ori asked hopefully, “We did come together, but I’ve been wanting to go to the gallery for ages-“

“It’s fine Ori, really, go and enjoy your date.” Bilbo waved him off and Ori smiled in return.

Bilbo watched his friend leave on the arm of that mountain of a man Dwalin, he smiled at the way his friend clearly swooned for him.

Bilbo sighed, nervously fiddling his fingers, “I’d love to continue this date, Thorin, but I have work in an hour. I know it’s dreadfully rude of me to go right now but-“

“No it’s fine.” Thorin dismissed, “I understand completely. To be honest, I’d better get back to work too. I’ll have more to do with Dwalin out for the rest of the day.”

“Oh, good.” Bilbo exhaled, his head inclining, making his curls fall in front of his eyes in the cutest way possible.

“I could give you a lift, if you like.” Thorin offered, “It’s quicker than taking the train or a taxi.”

“If you wouldn’t mind.” Bilbo grinned, “My boss can be a real dragon when I’m late.”

“Well we can’t have that,” Thorin grinned as he pulled out his phone. A quick text to Bofur had the car out the front of the café in ten minutes.

“You have your own driver.” Bilbo said flatly, “Of course you have your own driver.”

“Bofur is actually pretty well off, he doesn’t need the job,“ Thorin chuckled at Bilbo’s amazement, “He just does it for kicks.”

Thorin oped the door for Bilbo before he climbed in himself. He did his best to surpass his smile as he watched Bilbo marvel at the leather interior.

“I’d very much like to see you again, Master Baggins.” Thorin said as they parked out the front of Bilbo’s apartment.

His voice was so sultry and thick that Bilbo felt a shiver course through his body.

“I-I’d like that too. I’ll email you my mobile number.” Bilbo blushed, his eyes darting from Thorin to the car seat, before Thorin knew it Bilbo had leant forward and was pressing his lips to Thorin’s. It was too quick for Thorin to properly respond. 

“T-Thank you for paying for lunch.” Bilbo stuttered before he flung the door open and ran from the car.

Thorin didn’t know if the kiss was because of the free lunch or because of some sort of obligation. But Thorin didn’t care either way, he was happy to provide more free lunches and other free things if it meant that Bilbo would kiss him again. 

All the while he could work on wooing Bilbo. He was going to pamper and spoil the boy to the point of exhaustion.


	4. The Fourth Step is to Let Daddy Dress You...

Bilbo didn’t know why he kissed Thorin. At least it was received well enough. Maybe Thorin was expecting something like that in return for the meal? That’s the point of it all, isn’t it? Bilbo would be Thorin’s sweet little sugar baby and Thorin would pay for things.

Bilbo was almost surprised at himself, but he actually didn’t mind the arrangement, especially if it meant that he could eat such wonderful food. It wasn’t exactly a difficult task, Thorin seemed nice enough, and the fact that he was sinfully handsome certainly helped.

When Bilbo returned from a horrendous day of rude customers and a snarky boss, he was greeted by the sight of Ori preparing their dinner with an unusual flare.

“I take it you had a good date?” Bilbo smiled tiredly as he collapsed on their couch.

“It was fantastic! We walked around all afternoon. Dwalin’s so smart, and I felt so cool walking beside him. He asked me to dinner tomorrow night! How wonderful is that?”

“I’m happy for you.” Bilbo said with a genuine smile.

“And what happened with you and Thorin?”

“Well,” Bilbo began with a tired sigh, “He drove me home and asked for a second date, and I said I’d email him my number- OH CRAP I FORGOT!”

Bilbo rolled of the couch and reached for were his phone rested on the coffee table. He opened up a fresh message and sent it to Thorin.

It didn’t take long for a text message to arrive on his phone.

‘Bilbo? It’s Thorin, thanks for sending me your number, I was beginning to think that you’d forgotten.’

Bilbo quickly replied, ‘I did forget, but then I remembered when I got home from work.’

‘Yeah? And how was it?’

Did Thorin actually want to know about his day working as a barista? Bilbo snorted and shook his head. ‘It was boring. I mostly just deal with impolite customers, but my boss wasn’t particularly sadistic today. Though I’m sure it’s nothing compared to your work.’

‘Every job has it challenges.’

‘A very diplomatic answer. But since we’re on the topic, how was your day, Thorin?’

‘I actually got a lot of work done without Dwalin interrupting me every five minutes. I should send a thank you gift to your friend for distracting him.’

‘Well then, he could always use a new laptop, his old one has old ice-cream under the keys. Haha.’

‘Ice-cream?’

‘He drops food on his laptop all the time, and it’s mostly ice-cream. It seems to leap off the spoon when Ori is involved.’

There was a long pause before the next text message arrived, Bilbo had begun to think that perhaps Thorin was done with the conversation.

‘I don’t work on Saturdays, and I would like it if we could meet up again.’

Bilbo felt his face heat up at the attention Thorin was giving him, it was… intense.

‘I’d be happy to.’

‘Good. I’ll pick you up at ten. Goodnight.’

It felt almost like he was arranging a business meeting, it made Bilbo smile to think that Thorin was unfailingly formal in even the simplest aspects of life.

‘Goodnight, Thorin.’

Thorin lie in his bed, his phone lifted above his head as he read the message Bilbo had sent. ‘Goodnight, Thorin.’ He repeated it in his head over and over, wondering what it would sound like to hear those words in person, to hear his name falling from those delectable pink lips. Thorin groaned, his grip on his phone loosening enough for it to fall and hit him in the face. He groaned again, but this time it was in pain.

He really had to stop having these little moments of stupidity.

 

On Saturday, Bilbo was up at nine in the morning, he showered as best he could with the water changing from searing hot to Antarctic cold at random. Then he dressed in a simple pair of black jeans as a white-button down. He managed to scavenge a breasfast out of two pieces of toast and half a can of beans.

At exactly ten, Bilbo received a text from Thorin, ‘Waiting outside.’

When Thorin came into view, Bilbo saw him leaning against his fancy black car, dressed in an equally fancy dark navy blue suit and sunglasses. Bilbo wondered if his entire wardrobe consisted of suits.

When Thorin saw Bilbo, his sweet blond curls bounced a little with every step, his smile was as bright as the morning. Thorin lifted his sunglasses from his eyes, giving Bilbo the full up and down. He was beautiful, which made it an utter shame that he had to dress in such cheap clothes. He would have to do something about that. 

He told himself that his desire to fit Bilbo with nicer clothes was for the sake of charity, and not because of that particular fantasy he has where he dresses Bilbo in silk and then tears it from his curvy little body.

No. Of course not.

“Good morning, Thorin.” Bilbo greeted brightly.

“Good morning.” Thorin greeted back, a touch of amusement in his eyes, “You ready to go? I’ve got a long day planned.” He opened the car door and motioned for Bilbo to climb in.

“Oh? And what might that be?” Bilbo asked curiously.

“You’ll have to wait and see.” Thorin countered as he climbed in after Bilbo.

“I’m not very fond of surprises. But I’ll let you have your fun.”

Thorin gave his trademark smirk, “Bofur, take us to Mirkwood.”

Bofur laughed, “Yes sir, Mr Durin.”

“Don’t call me that.”

 

Bilbo watched the scenery pass by the window, clearly enjoying seeing the east side of the city again. Thorin was happy for his enjoyment, but fidgeted in his seat. He could see Bilbo’s hands resting near his own, and didn’t know whether or not to entwine it with his own. 

He decided to resist. It was only their second outing and they hadn’t exactly spoken a great deal. They stopped at traffic lights and Thorin took the opportunity to open up channels of conversation.

“You see that building over there?” Thorin prompted, “That’s my building.”

“Wait.” Bilbo gawked, “You OWN the building?”

Thorin felt smug at seeing Bilbo’s reaction. “It was my grandfather’s first. Then my fathers, and it’s now mine. I work on the top floor.”

“Goodness.” Bilbo breathed in wonder, “Just how rich are you, Thorin?”

Thorin’s proud smirk only got worse, ‘Rich enough to bury you in diamonds,’ he thought to himself. “I do pretty well.” he said eventually.

“Clearly.” Bilbo mumbled. He turned his eyes to the high-rise building once again as the light turned green and they drove again. He was a little startled when he felt Thorin’s thumb brush over his knuckles. But nothing else proceeded it. He didn’t think he’d mind if something did.

They arrived at a store only a few minutes afterward. 

Bilbo stepped out of the car first, taking in the sight of the white stone building, which could only be described as regal, elegant, and downright impressive. In the front windows there were expensive looking clothes on display, coats and shirts that looked like they were weaved by Arachne herself.

Thorin placed his hand on Bilbo’s back, urging him to move forward. Bilbo stumbled a little, knowing full well that even his nice shoes would fail to make him comfortable in there.

The door chimed charmingly as they stepped in. Thorin walked ahead as though the place was a familiar to him as his own home. “Thranduil.” He called out.

The tall woman at the counter smiled at Bilbo before speaking, “Welcome back Mr Durin. I’m afraid Mr Greenleaf is on the phone to his husband, so you might have to wait a while.”

“I’m not waiting,” Thorin muttered, “I’ll just have to drag his butt out here.”

“Um, Thorin?” Bilbo said tentatively, “What are we doing here exactly? Do you need a new suit?”

“I’ve got plenty of suits.” Thorin replied dismissively, “We’re here for you.”

“Me?” Bilbo blinked a few times and Thorin nodded.

Thorin looked away to hide his slight blush, “Clearly you’re in need of something new. And I’d… like to see you in something I picked out.” before Bilbo could respond Thorin stormed into the back room.

Bilbo blushed and fidgeted in place. Thorin really was his sugar daddy, wasn’t he? 

Thorin came back out, arguing with the man who Bilbo assumed to be Thranduil. A supermodel like man with a waterfall of white gold hair and mad eyebrow game. He was dressed in silver and white, an outfit so high fashion that Bilbo thought he was at a photo shoot.

“-You can’t just show up at random and interrupt my conversation.” Thranduil grated.

“Like I care about your conversation. You’re at work, so do some damn work!” Thorin growled back.

“Fine. But I’m billing you extra for it.”

“Fine.”

“Bilbo,” Thorin began begrudgingly, “This is Thranduil. He owns this place.”

“I-It’s nice to meet you.” Bilbo offered nervously as the much taller man eyed his up and down.

“My goodness, you sure are a tiny thing. Tiny but cute. How old are you?” Thranduil circled Bilbo like a hunter and his prey as he continued to carefully look him over.

“Twenty-three.” Bilbo replied, clearing his throat in the hopes that Thranduil couldn’t tell that he was nervous.

Thranduil’s impressive eyebrows shot up and he looked to Thorin, his grin wide and sharp. “Oh Thorin darling, you brought me your Sugar Baby! How cute!”

“We came here for clothes.” Thorin growled, “And if you’re not going to help with that, then we’ll take our business elsewhere.”

Thranduil laughed, “Don’t get so emotional Thorin. Of course I’ll help. I just didn’t realise you were the Sugar Daddy type. It suits you.” Thorin growled again and Thranduil clapped his hands together once, directing his attention back to an embarrassed Bilbo, “Now. You’re curviness is a big plus, but you’re all hidden under that monstrous cotton-poly blend. If you’re spending time with a Durin dressed by me then you must have something better. But first, measurements!”

He grabbed Bilbo’s wrist and began to pull him along, he called back to Thorin before he followed Bilbo into the fitting room, “Feel free to pick out what you’d like your baby to wear.”

Thorin tried to surpass his rage as he went to the clothing racks, sifting through the samples carefully.

“He seems sweet, Mr Durin.” 

Thorin just grunted in reply.

“Does Kili know about him?”

Thorin stopped. “Tauriel, I can’t have my family knowing about him just yet.”

“I won’t tell him,” She promised with a smile, “But if he finds out, he’ll tell me, then I’ll send you a heads-up.”

Thorin sighed, “Thank you. I wonder how it is that my pain of a nephew ended up with such a sensible girl.”

Tauriel grinned and shrugged, “He makes me laugh.”

Thorin had selected mostly blues, considering them to be his colour and wanting very much to see Bilbo in them. But he also picked some things he thought would match Bilbo’s hair and eyes, like gold’s, yellows, muted red’s. He just hoped that Bilbo would like them. If he didn’t, he could always take him shopping again…

Thranduil came back out and walked over to Thorin, “So, what have you picked?”

Thorin grunted and handed over a pile of his choices. Thranduil took them and looked at each garment, one by one. “Hmm, I hate to say it, but you did well. I’ll have Tauriel bring out his size. But I’m also adding waistcoats, he’d look far too adorable in them. I’d hate to waste the opportunity.”

“Whatever. Just get the damn clothes.”

“Charming as always, Thorin.”

When Bilbo finally came out of the fitting room, he was dressed in a long sleeved white shirt, and a waistcoat sitting on top of it. It was a sunny gold colour to match his sweet curls, his pants were a deep maroon and actually fit him perfectly, all of it fit him perfectly.

Thorin was happy that his beard covered most of his blush.

Bilbo turned in the mirror and gawked at himself. He looked like an entirely different person, and felt it too. The fine threads of his clothes made him feel as though he were wearing the clouds themselves. “What do you think?” He asked tentatively.

“Beautiful.” Thorin smiled, nodding his head slightly.

Bilbo gave a weak laugh in response.

“We’ll take everything that was picked for him.” Thorin said as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his credit card.

Thranduil gave a smug grin, “Of course, my designs are the best, there’s no way you could leave without half our stock.”

“Just ring it up so we can go.” Thorin grumbled.

Thranduil strutted over to the cash register and tallied up the cost of the pile of clothes. Bilbo stood dumbly, he had only tried on one outfit, and Thorin was just going to pay for it all without a second thought? “Um, I should change.”

“Oh no.” Thranduil declared, “No one leaves my store in those rags you came in with. You’ll wear what I gave you. And you’re not allowed to wear any of the other clothes you have at home. If I have to burn them myself I will.”

Bilbo remained quiet. He couldn’t really argue, his new clothes would fit him better, and they are a lot nicer.

Thorin took back his credit card and slipped it into his coat pocket. He gave Bilbo a small grin and decided to be a little bold, he held out his arm so they could walk like a real couple. They walked out like this, with Bilbo being the only one polite enough to shout a quick goodbye and thank you.

“I know a good restaurant that’s not too far from here. Shall we walk?” Thorin said with a dashing smile.

“Ah, yes.” Bilbo nodded.

They walked in silence, Thorin’s body felt like it was melting from the inside due to the contact he and Bilbo shared. Their arms entwined, their shoulders brushing from time to time. It was fantastic. He could see the envious eyes of passer-by’s when they saw him with such a delectable little thing. It was an ego boost that Thorin might not have needed but certainly enjoyed.

When they got to the restaurant and were seated, Bilbo ordered as though it were his last meal. Thorin didn’t mind, but it made him curious. 

“Your food must be bad at home, you seem starved.”

Bilbo blinked up at him and then laughed, “Oh I keep myself well fed, but the only food I can afford is the cheap, about to expire kind of stuff. I love to cook, but ingredients aren’t cheap. But when I’m out with you… well,” He blushed, “I get to eat good food.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying our time together,” Thorin drawled in amusement.

“Oh yes,” Bilbo said with a vigorous couple of nods, “You’re a wonderful, um… provider. I wish I could do something for you in return.”

Thorin’s mind instantly went into the gutter, imagining Bilbo acting like his own cute little housewife, greeting him at the door on his hands and knees in nothing but a frilly apron. “Y-Your company is all I need,” He managed to stammer. “It’s hard for me to keep a relationship, due to my demanding work hours and consistent grumpiness… At least that’s what my sister says. But what we have, I like.”

“Me too,” Bilbo grinned, “I know it might be shallow, but I do believe that these are the nicest things I’m ever going to wear.”

“There‘ll be more where that came from.” Thorin rumbled darkly, “I enjoy seeing you in the clothes I picked.”

Bilbo bit his lip, not knowing how to respond. He didn’t realise that he’d like being coddled so much.

“Would you like to see my apartment? After the meal I mean.”

“I would.” Thorin replied honestly.

 

Bilbo’s apartment was terrible. It was clean and tidy, but it was terrible! The air-conditioner was broken, the couch was old and had a loose spring that dung into Thorin’s back, the kitchen, living room and dining room were all one thing in a space not even fit for a prisoner. No, this simply wouldn’t do.

“Rent is expensive in the big city,” Bilbo explained as he sat next to Thorin, “It’s the best we could do.”

Thorin took one look at Bilbo and snapped, sure he had only known this boy for two days, and sure there are a million ways this could backfire, but he heard himself say, “I’m buying you a new apartment.”

Bilbo stooped, “What? NO! That’s too much!”

“You’re not staying here! All this needs to go! You need a proper home and proper furniture. Don’t worry about Ori, he can still live with you, I doubt Dwalin would want him staying in this hole in the wall.” 

There was something about Thorin’s outrage and flared nostrils, there was something about the way that Thorin felt personally offended by his apartment that made Bilbo simply accept it. If Thorin wanted to buy him a new apartment, then why stop him? It was all part of their relationship, Thorin clearly just wanted to spend money.

All thoughts of doing things to Bilbo flew out of Thorin’s mind when he saw the dwelling he lived in. Lust was replaced by rage, he crossed his arms over his chest as Bilbo smiled, leaning his head on Thorin’s bicep.

“I think your clothes are worth more than everything in here.” Thorin muttered.

“You’re probably right,” Bilbo mumbled in return, “We bought our couch from a guy in our building. I’m pretty sure it was stolen, or evidence in a crime of some sort.”

Thorin shot out of his seat in horror. Bilbo laughed at his mortified expression.

“I’m kidding, it was my grandmother's.”

Thorin’s eyes narrowed dangerously, “Alright, next time we go out to eat, we’re only having take-out.”

“Noooooo,” Bilbo groaned, “You’re a cruel man, Thorin!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this was any good, next one will be tho, I have a plan : )


	5. The Fifth Step is to Take Care of Daddy...

Thorin had enjoyed his time with Bilbo, but he did have to go back to work. Things got a little busier, and Thorin realised that it might be at least four weeks before he had the time to actually see Bilbo again. He even had to start talking his lunch at his desk, rather than go somewhere nice. He told Bilbo this and he was understanding, but Thorin couldn’t help but feel that he was being an inefficient boyfriend (Sugar Daddy). He spent his moments of boredom looking online for apartments that were close enough to both his work and Bilbo’s. But he hadn’t actually gotten him anything else since the new clothes.

It all accumulated to a point when Dwalin was in his office, bragging to Thorin about the new laptop he had bought Ori.

“He looked so happy,” Dwalin grinned, “I’m thinking of getting him a new TV too, you know the one they have doesn’t work very well.”

“Hmm.” Thorin grunted, “Well I’d get Bilbo a laptop, except that the one he has is still pretty new. And he says that he doesn’t watch TV all that much.”

“I guess I just like to spoil Ori a little bit more. Since I’m paying for half of their new apartment.”

Thorin looked up from his computer, his eyes narrowing as they met with Dwalin’s smug glint. It looked too much like a challenge for Thorin to ignore.

“I bought Bilbo an entirely new wardrobe.” Thorin added. 

“I got Ori a new phone and I’m taking him to the Opera next weekend.”

“I was going to ask Bilbo to come with me on my next business trip.”

“I’m going to take Ori with me on vacation.” 

They were both leaning closer to each other, both staring dangerously into the other’s narrowed gaze. Clearly neither of them wanted to be out done by the other.

And thus, a silent war began.

 

Bilbo and Ori were sitting together on their floral print couch when there came a knock at the door, they looked at each other briefly before Bilbo got up to answer it. There was a man in a delivery uniform, with a clipboard and a pen in his hand, “Bilbo Baggins?”

“Ah, yes?” Bilbo replied slowly.

“Sign here.” The man said gruffly, as he handed the clipboard over.

“What is it?” He asked curiously.

“Refrigerator.” The Man bluntly replied.

“I-I didn’t order one-“

“It’s already been paid for by a Mr-“ He paused as he searched for the name, “Durin.”

Bilbo blinked a few times before he moved from the door, “Well, come in then, I guess.”

Four other men entered with a large box in tow, the man with the clipboard remained with Bilbo, “We have instruction to take the old one. So you might want to take out anything you’d want to keep.”

Bilbo hurriedly called for Ori’s help to empty what little contents they had from their old fridge before the delivery men unplugged it and shifted it out of the way. The new one was made of a shiny black metal and had four times the space and an in-built ice maker.

The men carted away the old one and were gone as quickly as they came. Bilbo and Ori inspected the fridge with both caution and a little awe.

“He sent you a fridge?” Ori asked.

“He sent me a fridge.” Bilbo said flatly, “I’ve gotten chocolates before, but this is the first time a guy has sent me house-hold appliances.”

They put their meagre food in the spacious fridge and sat back down again, both of them trying not to think of the strangeness of the gift.

“Why would he think to get you that?” Ori asked.

“He was here the other day, and he said this place was terrible, so I guess he wants to make it better… You know for a moment he said he was going to get me a whole new apartment!” Bilbo laughed, “But nobody’s that crazy.”

Ten minutes later, there was another knock at the door. Bilbo got up again, and when he opened it, he realised that it was the same delivery men as before, “Oh, hello again. Was there a mistake in the delivery?”

“No, we’re here for Ori Rison, a delivery from a Mr Fudin.”

“Alright,” Bilbo chuckled lightly, “Ori, delivery for you.”

Ori walked over and signed just as Bilbo did, “So what’s the delivery? Another refrigerator?” he asked in jest.

“Nope.” The man replied gruffly, “Microwave, blender and cappuccino machine.”

And with that, the men were in the house again, taking the old microwave and bringing in the new appliances. They had never had a blender or a cappuccino machine.

When the men were gone again, the two stood dumbstruck in their kitchenette. The four new items looked so out of place in their tiny dwelling, they made everything they owed look so cheap.

“Well, um, would you like a coffee?” Ori asked after a long moment of silence.

“Yes, I suppose.” Bilbo replied, scratching his head.

 

It had been one week since the refrigerator, and the gifts had not stopped. Bilbo and Ori knew the delivery men by name, they also knew the names for their wives and children… It was getting ridiculous. 

Bilbo was sent a couch, so Ori got a TV. Bilbo got a new king sized bed, so Ori got the same and new pillows. Bilbo got a new quilt and Egyptian cotton sheets, so Ori got the same. Bilbo was sent a new bookcase and forty new books, an Ori got an antique typewriter. Together, they got new rugs, plates, cups, cutlery, pots, pans, a lovely tea set, and enough food to fill their fridge and cupboards. 

All this time, Bilbo thought Thorin was busy working, but he was actually shopping online and finding new and frivolous things to send him. And by the looks of it, Dwalin was doing the same for Ori.

By the time the new dining table and chairs arrived, Bilbo had to put his foot down. He decided to go see Thorin, regardless of how busy the man claims to be, he had to know what was going through that man’s mind.

 

Thorin had been browsing online for washing machines when his assistant, Nori, came into his office, he had a smirk on his face, “A Mr Baggins to see you, sir.”

Thorin’s eyes widened as Bilbo walked in, dressed in the blue waistcoat that Thorin had picked out for him. He swallowed nervously, not knowing whether or not he’d be able to keep his hands off of the delectable thing.

“I-I’m sorry to bother you.”

“Ah, no it’s fine. Come in and shut the door.”

Bilbo did as he was bid before he walked over to Thorin, who promptly pulled him into his lap. Thorin had his reasons as to why he was suddenly so touchy, the biggest reason being that he was a little touch starved after weeks of hard work. Bilbo didn’t seem to mind, at least.

“Bilbo, are you alright?” Thorin asked, his hands unconsciously making their way around the other’s waist. He couldn’t help it, he hadn’t seen him in a month. All he had as compensation was the occasional text message.

“I, um.” Bilbo blushed, “I wanted to talk about the gifts.”

“Do you not like them?” Thorin asked, enjoying the feeling of having Bilbo in his arms.

“I did like them,” Bilbo admitted, he twisted his body just enough to graze his fingers over Thorin’s beard, trying his best to be affectionate. “But we’re running out of space for everything. And it makes me a little uncomfortable to own spoons that are worth three weeks of rent.”

Thorin hummed in thought. Was Bilbo unhappy with the way things were going? He thought that he was doing a fine job at giving Bilbo all the things his sweet little heart would desire, but apparently he was missing something.

“Tell me what to buy you, pet, and you shall have it.”

Bilbo couldn’t help but smile at the incredibly endearing sentiment behind it all, he pressed a soft kiss to Thorin’s lips, “I’ve got enough things for now.”

“If you say so… But I’m still getting you that apartment.”

Bilbo laughed, rocking back slightly in Thorin’s lap. In that moment, Dwalin came into the office without knocking.

“Thorin, I’ve got that finance report-“ He paused, taking one look at Bilbo in Thorin’s lap and Thorin’s arms around Bilbo’s waist. He and Thorin met their gaze, and Thorin knew he had won. “Never mind. I’ll come back later.” Dwalin said gruffly.

Bilbo’s face was adorably red, “Oh goodness.” He groaned in embarrassment.

Thorin kissed Bilbo’s lips, enjoying their petal softness, “You’ve done a lot more than you realise, I’ll have to take you out for a nice dinner as a reward.”

“I haven’t really done anything!” Bilbo protested.

“Oh you have,” Thorin grinned, “I’ll explain later, but I really must get back to work.”

“Yes, of course!” Bilbo scrambled of Thorin’s lap and adjusted his clothes a little. “I’m supposed to be working on my novel now, anyway.”

As Bilbo left, Thorin sighed. He wished he could spend all his time with him, he wished that he could hold him all day and never let go. Not being with Bilbo made him irritable, and it made him unbearable for the people around him. But for now, all he knew was that if he finished his work, he’ll be able to see his sweet little curly haired sugar baby.

 

“What do you mean Thorin is sick?”

Dwalin had come to take Ori out for lunch about two weeks after Bilbo had visited Thorin in the office. Dwalin sat with Bilbo while Ori was still getting ready, and informed Bilbo of Thorin’s current state.

“Yeah, he worked himself into a fever. I told him that he should take it a little easier, but he just wanted to get all his work done as quickly as possible. Damn fool.”

“Is anyone taking care of him?” Bilbo asked as he fidgeted worriedly.

Dwalin scratched his whiskery chin, “I go in and see him every day, but he mostly just grumbles at me. Usually his sister would watch over him but she’s on a cruise with her husband. I guess he’s been taking care of himself.”

“That’s not good enough!” Bilbo shouted with more force than he intended. He blushed in embarrassment at his own outburst.

Dwalin shrugged, “Why don’t you go? I know he’d much rather see you than anyone else.”

“I think I will. If he doesn’t have anyone else.” Bilbo nodded.

“I have a key to his apartment, you should take it.” Dwalin put his hand in his pocket and fished out a key before he threw it to Bilbo. “Just let yourself in.”

Bilbo packed a bag of a few things before Dwalin and Ori gave him a lift to Thorin’s apartment. As the two drove off to go on to their date, Bilbo stood in awe of the complex Thorin lived in. He was glad he was wearing his nice clothes, or they probably wouldn’t let them through the door.

He nodded to the doorman as he went past, he looked at the number on the key and realised that Thorin was on the top floor. He felt nervous as he stood in the elevator, what if Thorin didn’t want to see him? Was it ok that he was just showing up unannounced? Was he crossing a line? Whatever the answer to these questions were, he didn’t have time to think on them because he had reached the top.

He put the key in the door and slowly opened it, he poked his head through before he stepped inside.

Thorin’s apartment was like something from a movie, the window was the size of a wall and lit the place up nicely, there was a clear division between the kitchen and the lounge room through the shiny black tiles and the cream colour carpet. All of the furniture was black, the leather couches, the dining table and chairs, the countertops and even the refrigerator. It all matched nicely, but it lacked a certain ‘lived in’ quality. Everything was so pristine that it look seldom used.

But there were nice things too, like the bookshelf and the sword that was mounted on top of it, and the pictures on the wall.

Bilbo would have liked to inspect things closer, but he had a sick man to take care of first. 

He moved further in with quiet footsteps, he chose a door and peeked inside, and was greeted by the sight of Thorin sleeping on a large bed, huddled up in one corner.

“Thorin? It’s Bilbo.” He announced softly.

Thorin opened his groggy eyes and groaned, “Bilbo. M’sick.”

“I know, I know. I’m going to take care you, ok?”

“Thirsty.” Thorin groaned again.

Bilbo smiled as he rolled up his sleeves. Thorin could be so endearing when he was vulnerable like this, he liked the thought that if you take away all of Thorin’s money and suits, he was still a real sweetheart.

Bilbo went to the kitchen and got a glass of water for Thorin. He tried his best to help Thorin sit up but the man was heavy. It was when Thorin was sitting up that Bilbo realised that he was completely shirtless. Bilbo blushed, trying his best not to stare at the hair and musculature. 

Bilbo placed his hand on Thorin’s forehead, “How did you get yourself into this mess, hmm?”

“Still thirsty.” Thorin grumbled.

“Alright.” Bilbo sighed. He made a point to run a bath for Thorin before he went to get more for him to drink.

Thorin drank four glasses of water before Bilbo could coax him out of bed. He had drenched his pyjama pants and sheets with sweat and they needed to be changed. He helped him up by putting his arm over his shoulders and walked him to the bathroom.

“Get yourself in the water, I’ll go and-“

Bilbo stopped mid-sentence because Thorin yanked his pants and underwear down in one swift movement. Bilbo’s words caught in his throat.

Thorin stood naked and proud, a delirious smirk on his face as he let Bilbo look as much as he wanted. “It’s all yours baby.” 

“Right. Get in the tub now.” Bilbo insisted, his face bright red.

Thorin did climb in, and he groaned at the pleasant feeling.

Bilbo took a moment to get his heart rate under control before he got a hand-towel and moved to Thorin’s side. He dipped the towel in the in the water and began washing Thorin’s back. There was something absolutely filthy about the way Thorin continued to groan.

“Why did you work yourself so hard?” Bilbo scolded, “You’re an adult, you should be able to take proper care of yourself!”

“Wanted to see you.” Thorin mumbled.

“What? You could have seen me at any time.” Bilbo retorted.

“Na,” Thorin mumbled, “I wanted to spend a whole week with you… Couldn’t do that if I had work.”

“I see.” Bilbo mumbled, “You silly man.”

Thorin’s head lolled back against the side of the bath, his eyes sliding shut, “You’re pretty, ya’ know? Wanna hold you.”

“Um, thank you.” Bilbo swallowed nervously. He had never been called ‘pretty’.

Bilbo washed Thorin as best he could with Thorin constantly telling him to ‘lower’. He managed to leave the man long enough to change his sheets and pick out some fresh clothes for him.

He made Thorin dry and dress himself alone.

Once Thorin was in bed again, He sat up, his hazy eyes pleading to Bilbo, “Food?”

“Yes, of course.” Bilbo placed a kiss on his forehead before he went into the seldom used kitchen and gathered all he could. With what was there he could easily make a good soup. Within twenty-five minutes he went back to Thorin with a bowl of soup and a glass of water on a tray.

“I want you to eat all of it,” Bilbo insisted, “You won’t get any better if you skip meals.”

Much to Bilbo’s delight, he didn’t have to spoon feed Thorin, he just had to sit near him and keep him company. Thorin downed the glass of water quickly before sleep over-took him once again. Bilbo sighed in relief and pulled the blanket up to Thorin’s chin and left in in the cosy dark.

He didn’t know how long Thorin would be out, but Bilbo decided that it would be best if he stayed. He got himself a small helping of soup and buttered bread and it in contented silence. Thorin had sleep through the entire afternoon while Bilbo read an interesting book about dragon lore. It wasn’t until the sun had gone and the sky was pitch black that Bilbo decided to find a place to sleep for the night.

He was happy he had the foresight to bring a few changes of clothes. He wore powder blue button up pyjamas and long pants.

He decided to go and refill Thorin’s water in case he woke sometime in the night and needed a drink. When he returned to place the full glass on Thorin’s beside table, he felt Thorin’s hand tug at his top. “St’y w’th me.” His eyes were half-lidded and he was clearly half asleep, but Bilbo obliged happily enough.

He settled beside Thorin, pleased to find that his mattress was softer than a cloud and the sheets warm and snug. He didn’t expect Thorin to suddenly move and capture him in a tight grip. He was being spooned by Thorin and held there by his strong arms, proving that he still had a good amount of strength, even in sickness.

Bilbo huffed lightly, but didn’t struggle against it. He shifted a little until he was comfortable and fell asleep in Thorin’s feverish yet powerful embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bet you want to know what happens when Thorin wakes up ; )


	6. The Sixth Step is to Make a Good Impression...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait guys, the Easter break had me busy

When Thorin woke he felt so much better than he had been for the past few days. The fever that had persisted was now gone, and he didn’t feel like he was burning up from the inside anymore. He did feel pleasantly warm however, or at least, he felt a pleasant warmth pressed to his chest. He slowly opened his tired eyes and was met with the sight of a mop of unruly blond curls. He was almost startled, but he quickly remembered that Bilbo had come and had taken care of him.

His sweet little companion was sleeping soundly, and Thorin was content to leave it that way. He took the chance to run his finger’s gently through Bilbo’s curls, and marvel at the peaceful expression on his face. He would love to be able to wake up to such a sight every morning. 

Bilbo yawned suddenly, and in a moment of panic Thorin pulled his hand away, but his fingers were snagged on a knot in Bilbo’s hair which he promptly yanked out, causing Bilbo to yelp in pain and surprise. He opened his eyes and jolted up, immediately rubbing his sore head.

“Oww Thorin!” Bilbo grumbled, “There are nicer ways to wake someone, you know!”

“I-I’m sorry, it was an accident, I swear!” Thorin profusely apologised.

“If you wanted breakfast you could have just poked my shoulder or something.” Bilbo made a move to get off the bed, but his wrist was seized and Thorin pulled him back into a tight hug.

“I didn’t mean it.” Thorin mumbled, pressing his lips to the curls he had pulled, “I promise. I wouldn’t want to harm a hair on your head.”

“Well, you failed in a literal sense, but I forgive you.” Bilbo turned and smiled, “Oh! How rude of me! How are you feeling this morning? You really should be lying down still, I’ll go make you something.”

Thorin kept his hold on Bilbo, “You won’t find anything good in that kitchen of mine. I usually eat out. So why don’t we go somewhere for breakfast?”

“I don’t know if you should be leaving the house, your illness could flare up again.” Bilbo protested, “I could go out and get something-”

“Let me take you out to a nice meal, as a thank you.” Thorin’s resolute tone and insistent grip was inarguable, Bilbo sighed.

“Alright. It’s lucky I brought some clothes with me.”

“Well, if you went without the clothes I wouldn’t complain.” Thorin half smirked with a quirked up eyebrow.

Bilbo scoffed and hit him with a pillow before he climbed off the bed.

They ended up going to a nice little place within walking distance of Thorin’s apartment, and unlike the time Bilbo walked into Bombur’s place, he felt like he actually fit in. It was surely the clothes that did it, but it was greatly helped through walking in with Thorin by his side, who not only dressed rich, but also swaggered with it.

The place was filled with enough people for a pleasant atmosphere, but not so much that it would take hours for their food to be served. They stood near the waiters station to be seated, but were called to before they could be greeted by a member of staff.

“Thorin!”

The two turned and Thorin recognised Bard sitting near the back, with the tall blond man that Bilbo recognised as Thranduil.

“Hey Bard.” Thorin called back for the sake of politeness, he didn’t really want to engage in conversation with Thranduil, but Bard was a decent man and a good friend.

“Why don’t you and your friend join us?” Thranduil called after. Thorin growled under his breath at the obvious mocking tone.

Thorin was about to decline when Bilbo got in first.

“We’d love to!” He had a smile on his face and wide shinning eyes, there was no way Thorin could say no to that. He sighed.

“Yeah, sure.” He agreed reluctantly.

When they sat down, Thorin tired his best to ignore Thranduil’s snarky grin. All the while, Bard and Bilbo were completely oblivious to the sparks of disdain flying between the two.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” Bard greeted, sticking out his hand for Bilbo to shake, “Bard Bowman.”

Bilbo shook his hand with a smile, “Bilbo Baggins. Are you Thranduil’s partner?”

Bard gave a proud grin, “Yes I am, Thran has told me all about you. So, you’re Thorin’s boyfriend?”

“So to speak.” Bilbo blushed.

Thorin hid his smile, he couldn’t smile in front of Thranduil. He’d think he was getting weak.

The waiter came over and looked twice, realising that he was not insane, and that there were only two people he had originally seated, but he smiled welcomingly and took their orders. Bilbo ordered enough for an army, as usual, and then excused himself to go to the restroom.

It seemed that Bard and Thranduil were waiting for a moment alone with Thorin.

“So Thorin,” Thranduil began, “Does he call you ‘daddy’?”

Thorin nearly spit out his coffee, his faced burned bright red with a blush that could be seen through his beard. “No, he doesn’t. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“I have to admit,” Bard cut in, “I didn’t expect this of you. When Thranduil told me of your little arrangement I nearly fell off my chair.”

“It was Dwalin’s idea.” Thorin grumbled lowly.

“He is very cute though,” Thranduil grinned with a mischievous glint in his eyes, “Have you had your way with your little darling yet?”

That time, Thorin did spit out his coffee.

“N-No, of course not!” His growled under his breath. He tried his best not to make more of a scene after drawing attention to himself.

“Pity.” Thranduil sighed, “Getting laid might actually make you happy for a change.”

Thorin growled, “Alright you son of a-“

“I’m back.” Bilbo called cheerily, “Is something wrong, Thorin?”

Thorin cleared his throat, “Ah, yes. Everything’s fine. I hope our food will be here soon.”

“Oh me too! I’m starved.” 

Thorin’s mood instantly went up with Bilbo by his side, he tried to ignore the amused look on Thranduil’s face.

“So, why are you two out for breakfast? Don’t you have a brood of children to take care of?” Thorin asked Bard, not Thranduil.

“It’s our anniversary. Our kids are visiting my parents for a few days.” Thranduil answered anyway, with Bard smiling and placing his hand over his husbands.

“Your anniversary huh… do you mean for your wedding, or for the day you woke up naked and in bed together?”

Bilbo blushed, Bard grinned into his coffee and Thranduil rolled his eyes.

“You’re just mad that you walked in.” Thranduil snorted.

“Wait,” Bilbo cut in, “Why was Thorin walking in?”

“We shared a tiny flat, Bard, Dwalin and I, and I walked in on them because they weren’t ‘in bed’, but ‘on couch’. I returned to our flat after spending the night at my parent’s house, only to be greeted by the sight of Thranduil’s pale ass.”

Bilbo tried his best to surpass his laughter, “I wouldn’t say that was the best first impression.”

“He had to audacity to wake us up after that! He yelled at us, even tough we told him that we were hung-over,” Thranduil exclaimed in outrage, “And we’ve loathed each other since.”

“You defiled my couch!” Thorin bit back with equal outrage.

“That couch was already defiled.” Bard mumbled.

Bilbo didn’t know why, but the comment was enough to make Thorin and Thranduil chuckle.

“Am I missing something?” He asked with an expectant smile.

Thorin grinned and rubbed his chin in thought, “Our apartment building consisted of mostly University students, and as you can imagine, there were a lot of parties. On the floor below our flat there was this guy named Azog, we used to call him ‘the defiler’.”

“And why is that?” Bilbo asked with a quirked brow.

Bard grinned, “Every time he went to a party, he always ended up throwing up. No one would invite him, he would just show up, get drunk, and then throw up on something. I’m convinced that he was doing it on purpose, because he would down as much alcohol as he could, vomit, then leave with a grin on his face.”

“Disgusting!” Bilbo exclaimed in horror.

“Yeah, and one night he had his eye on my favourite couch. It was a gift from my grandfather, too.” Thorin grumbled.

“Flipping the cushion wasn’t enough.” Bard added with a shake of his head, “We had the whole thing dry cleaned, twice. But it still felt… dirty.”

“And yet you thought it was a good place for our first intimate moment?!” Thranduil gasped in horror.

Bard took both of Thranduil’s hands in his, “Darling, we were so drunk that any surface would have worked. If I knew that you’d be my husband and we’d have four beautiful children together, I would have made sure we were in a room with a view, with candles and Champaign-“

“Stop before I vomit.” Thorin groaned.

“Don’t vomit yet, I can see my breakfast being brought over!” Bilbo said, excitedly bouncing in his seat.

They ate, enjoyed light conversation that was greatly helped along by Bilbo’s curiosity about the others’ University days, then they split the check and said their goodbyes.

 

Thorin and Bilbo walked down the busy street with no real destination in mind.

“That was nice, wasn’t it?” Bilbo asked with a bright smile.

“It’s the only time that a meal with Thranduil has been bearable.” Thorin huffed.

“He seems nice. He certainly loves Bard and his kids. Maybe if you’d met under better circumstances you would be friends.”

Thorin paused in thought, “… No, I think he’d still find a way to get on my bad side.”

Bilbo just smiled and shook his head, “How are you feeling by the way? You look a lot better.”

“I am. I think the food and sunlight did me good… How did you know I was sick, by the way? I didn’t text you while I was delirious, did I?”

“No, Dwalin told me. He was taking Ori on a date and stopped by the house. He said you’d worked yourself into a fever… I wonder how their date went…”

Thorin hummed, “We could go to your place and see. I’d like to see what you did with all the stuff I bought you.”

“Good,” Bilbo agreed, “You can see how utterly ridiculous it all looks.”

A quick taxi ride and a few flights of stairs later, Bilbo and Thorin stood at Bilbo’s apartment door, “I don’t think I could fit anymore gifts, we’ve used up every square inch-“

*giggles* “Dwalin~ Stop, Bilbo might be home soon.”

“He’s probably busy with Thorin.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Come on, one more round on the couch Thorin bought for Bilbo.”

Thorin groaned and Bilbo saw red, he burst through the door and screamed, “GET THE BLOODY HELL OFF MY COUCH!!!”

 

“I’m sorry Bilbo.” Ori said, looking down in embarrassment.

“I’m not.” Dwalin grunted.

Thorin and Bilbo sat opposite their friends after Bilbo had dished out a vicious scolding secession about propriety and respect for other people’s property.

“It’s fine.” Bilbo huffed, clearly not fine with it.

“At least they were dressed.” Thorin consoled.

“I think I’d better go.” Dwalin said, kissing Ori’s cheek before standing up, “Got files to organise. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Alright.” Ori said with a bashful smile.

Dwalin winked at him before he turned to Thorin, “You coming? I could use your help since you were out of commission for so long.”

“Yeah, sure.” Thorin said he stood. He felt a little awkward before he spoke again, “Thanks again for taking care of me, I know I can be a little needy when I’m sick.”

“Oh! No problem at all.” Bilbo smiled.

“Good, I-I’ll call you.”

 

“I can’t believe you slept with Ori!” Thorin exclaimed.

“I’m the one doing things right, Thorin, if you treated Bilbo like a lover and not like a nurse-maid, you’d be getting some too.”

Thorin groaned, “I know! But I never seem to have the right opportunity to initiate even a kiss! And I think I might have shown him my dick while I was delirious.”

“Well, he didn’t break up with you, so he must like your equipment. That’s one less thing to worry about.” 

“So, I got ninety-nine problems but my dick ain’t one?”

“…Did you steal Fili’s iPod again?”

“…It’s not all bad, what the kids listen to these days.”

Dwalin quirked an eyebrow, “Right, well, How about you focus on wooing your sweet little Bilbo, instead of old rap lyrics.”

“Yes.” Thorin agreed with a new found determination, “That’s what I’ll do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what this is...  
> I cant decide who to put Legolas with, I know he usually goes with Gimli but I kind of want to put him with Fili.


	7. The Seventh Step is to Embrace Daddy's Family...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg guys I'm so sorry about how long this took! I'm a uni student and I've had so many assignments lately! The next one will come quicker : )

Thorin had a plan. He had a bulletproof, can’t-possibly-fail plan to seduce Bilbo by the end of the week. In his mind, it was simple. He would invite Bilbo to come and have a seemingly innocent lunch at his office, and while Bilbo was distracted by how awesome Thorin was, he would convince Bilbo to come to a romantic dinner at his place. Once they were at dinner, he would woo Bilbo enough to get him in bed. He would get candles and expensive champagne, the whole nine-yards. If he looked as cool and as sexy as possible during their lunch date, then there was no way that Bilbo wouldn’t want him. Thorin always looked cool and sexy at work, he was in his element there, he was in control, and he was the man!

He sent Bilbo a text to invite him to lunch, it was his attempt at seeming as casual as possible. Bilbo agreed, of course, meaning that Thorin’s plan was already half completed.

On the day, he chose the always classic black silk suit with matching tie and Italian leather shoes, his hair was stylishly slick back and his stubble was manly but not too scruffy. After Bilbo had seen him sick, he wanted desperately to remind his young sweetheart that he was actually good-looking.

When Thorin walked into his office that morning, everyone could see the air of confidence that surrounded him. Most people were a little frightened, except for Dwalin and Bard, who were greatly amused by the uncharacteristic Thorin.

“Hey, what’s with the grin? Usually you can’t stand mornings.” Dwalin asked with a grin of his own.

“I’m having lunch with Bilbo today, if you must know.” Thorin answered smoothly.

“Oh! I’m having lunch with my son today!” Bard chirped happily.

“Which one?” Dwalin asked, both he and Bard ignoring Thorin’s increasingly grumpy expression.

“Legolas, he’s going to University soon, so I wanted to spend some quality time with him.”

“Is he going to Erebor U like we did?”

“Yeah, he’s-“

“GUYS!” Thorin cut in, “It’s not about lunch,” Thorin grumbled, “It’s about getting closer to Bilbo.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll do great.” Bard smiled.

Thorin grumbled something unintelligible under his breath before he turned towards his office, but before he shut the door he called out, “Make sure no one disturbs me.”

Thorin wasn’t sure how long he worked for, perhaps three hours, but he had to stop when he heard a commotion coming from outside his door. He was seriously considering reserving a floor just for him to work on, far from the idiots that surround him all the time. He went out and saw his nephew, Fill, talking and laughing with Dwalin, who seemed to have been stopped in the middle of doing something, since he had files in his hand.

“Fili,” Thorin grumbled, “What are you doing here?”

Fili, Thorin’s little sister’s son, and heir to Thorin’s place at Durin Industries, stood with a wide grin on his bearded face, his shoulder length dirty blond locks fallen carelessly and haphazardly from his messy bun.

“Uncle, what kind of greeting is that to give your precious nephew? I just came to say hi.”

Thorin scoffed, "There’s nothing precious about you. I know you have an ulterior motive for being here today, because you never set foot in this building during your vacation days, especially with university looming. So why are you really here?”

Fili feigned offence with a gasp, “Uncle Thorin! You wound me! What reason could I possibly have for being here today, other than to see my beloved relative?”

Thorin narrowed his eyes, but he didn’t get a chance to retort, since the real reason for Fill’s presence was walking out from the elevator. 

Legolas, the first child of Bard and Thranduil, stood tall and lean, and every bit as blonde and beautiful as Thranduil. His long hair was in a neat bun, much neater then Fili’s, showing off part of his slender neck and high cheekbones. He wore moss green skinny jeans and a slightly darker riding jacket and a black scarf, and knee high riding boots. He always dressed like a super model. It was part of being Thranduil’s child.

Thorin could see Fili practically drooling for him, and like a stallion lusting after a unicorn, Fili didn’t care nor realise that Legolas was way out of his league. He rushed forward to intercept.

“Hey Legs, fancy seeing you here.” Fili greeted, his gaze sliding slowly and appreciatively up and down the blonde’s form. 

“Fili. I should have known you’d find your way here.” Legolas replied flatly.

Fili smirked confidently, “Perhaps its destiny?”

“Or perhaps you’re still stalking me online.” Legolas replied, brushing past the still smirking Fili. He spotted Thorin and Dwalin, offered them a polite greeting due to his good manners, then proceeded to his father’s office.

“He still hates you.” Dwalin grinned, “Why don’t you give up?”

Fili shook his head, “You never give up on true love, Master Dwalin.”

Thorin glanced at his watch and noted that it was only a short time until Bilbo was due to arrive. He couldn’t have Fili around to ruin his plans, who knows what dastardly things he would say! Thorin wasn’t quite ready to introduce Bilbo to his family, in fact, he would probably be happy if his sweetheart never met the dreaded Durin’s.

“Since you obviously struck out with Legolas, you should go and make the most of your remaining vacation days.” Thorin said with a pushy and insistent tone.

Perhaps that was a bad move, because it was enough to make Fili wonder why Thorin wanted him gone so badly.

Fili quirked a brow, “Why do you want me gone so badly? Usually when I come here you try to teach me something about being a good businessman… You’re hiding something!”

“I am not!” Thorin yelled back, startling everyone including himself.

“Right.” Fili said with a cheeky grin. “And I’m sure mother will believe you too, when I tell her that you’re hiding something.”

Thorin gritted his teeth, “Don’t. Tell. Your. Mother. ANYTHING.”

Fili grinned widely, “I won’t, if you tell me what you’re hiding.”

Thorin sighed. He would rather Fili know then Dis, even if Fili was a pain in the ass. “I have someone coming for lunch.” 

“Who?” Fili pressed further, “A boyfriend?”

Thorin tensed his jaw before answering, “Yes.”

Fili’s grin only grew wider. Thorin knew that if they were in a more private setting, he’d be cheering and whooping loudly. 

“Now that you know.” Thorin growled lowly, “You can go.”

“Aww, but Uncle, I want to see him! Is he an old fuddy-duddy like you?” Fili teased.

Thorin wanted nothing more than to brag about his beautiful young sweetheart, but he stopped himself, knowing that he would get an endless amount of taunting for dating someone almost half his age. Heaven forbid if his family learnt just how it was that he got acquainted with Bilbo in the first place.

“Just leave Fili.” Thorin groaned, “Why must you make everything so difficult?”

“Better I know than Kili.” Fili laughed, “He’d tell everyone within five seconds of finding out, at least I can keep a secret.”

“For how long, I wonder.” Thorin mumbled.

It seemed like Fili was going to leave, willingly and without more of a fuss, but when Legolas and Bard emerged from Bard’s office, Fili’s mind was no longer on leaving, but on trying to get close to the blonde he coveted so much.

“Legs! Mr Bowman, why don’t you both join my uncle and me for lunch?”

Thorin’s face instantly paled.

Bard quirked a brow, “I thought Thorin was having lunch with someone else?”

Thorin growled, “I am-“

“Nonsense!” Fili cut in, “He just asked me to join him, and it would be a lot more fun if you two joined us.” He waggled his eyebrows at Legolas, who sighed in defeat.

“Fine,” Legolas stated in agreement, without reference to either Bard or Thorin.

Bard was simply smiling, as he knew his son’s mind better than he thought, and was certain that he wouldn’t be able to deny Fili for very much longer. But Thorin was seething in his boots, he couldn’t take back the invitation and was now stuck with a group of people for a lunch date that was supposed to woo his boyfriend. He couldn’t be cool and flirty when his nephew was around, and he wasn’t too keen about Bard and Legolas being there either.

Bard gave an apologetic look when his eyes met Thorin’s. There was nothing that could be done now, not unless he and Bilbo snuck away while no one was looking.

How was he going to tell Bilbo that their date had become a group affair? He didn’t know, nor did he have the time to figure it out, as the elevator dinged and Bilbo himself stepped into sight.

“There he is.” Thorin muttered.

Fili froze, mid-stare. “He’s not old…”

Rather than stay and listen to his nephew, Thorin walked over to Bilbo and gave a quick greeting and a soft kiss to the cheek. He spoke in a quick whisper, “Bilbo, I know this is rather impromptu, but my nephew is here and-“

“So you’re the one who has infatuated my uncle.” Fili cut in with a bright smile, “Name’s Fili.” He added, sticking his hand out to shake Bilbo’s hand.

“Oh, well, I’m Bilbo Baggins. You’re the first one of Thorin’s family I’ve met.” Bilbo returned Fili’s smile with one of his own.

“I don’t know why, you’re adorable!”

Thorin wanted nothing more than to deliver a swift back-hand to Fili’s head, but he restrained himself for Bilbo’s sake.

“Well, um, thank you.” Bilbo responded with a confused fluster.

Thorin lightly grabbed Bilbo’s wrist and pulled him along as they walked, “We’ll get a table.” He barked back as he hurried them both into the elevator.

When the steel doors shut, Thorin let out a long repressed sigh and encircled Bilbo’s waist in his arms. “You’ll have to forgive my nephew, he sort of showed up out of nowhere and invited himself and Bard to our lunch date.”

Bilbo simply chuckled, “It’s alright, he’s just curious about me I guess. Though I don’t know why he’d invite Bard.”

“Did you see the tall blond standing next to him? That was Bard and Thranduil eldest son, Legolas. Fili’s been after him since kindergarten. But Fili made an unfortunate first impression, and Legolas has loathed him ever since.”

Bilbo lifted a brow in curiosity, “What did he do?”

“He pushed Legolas in the mud for making him have feelings. Thranduil was livid, made me pay for the dry cleaning since I was there at the time. But who dresses a five year old in Armani anyway?” Thorin huffed and Bilbo giggled.

“It’s quite funny.” Bilbo smiled, he slid out of Thorin’s hold and took his hand instead. “Don’t worry so much, I know how families can be.”

Durin Industries had a fully functioning restaurant at the base of the building, available to all employees. It was one of the things that Thorin’s father had pioneered, for no other reason than the fact that he didn’t like going very far to get his food. It was one of the reason people coveted a place working for Thorin, because the food was fantastic and they could get an employee discount. Thorin would eat there whenever he felt the need, but most time he’d just order something to be delivered to his desk. He seldom used the actual restaurant. 

They got a table for five and settled in. Thorin tried his best to warn Bilbo of the barrage of questions he’d most likely be asked, and to please not judge Thorin by his family.

They were soon joined by the rest of their party. Fili rushed ahead so he could pull a chair out for Legolas, which was taken by Bard instead, who sent Fili a mild glare as he did so. If Bard was anything, he was fiercely protective of his children, and even though he knew that Legolas was dancing around his attraction to Fili, he wanted to make it clear to Fili that he wasn’t going to let him rush his son into anything.

It made Thorin smile to see the slightly frightened look on Fili’s face as he sat down next to Bard.

But he recovered quickly, “So, Mr Baggins, what do you do?”

Thorin grumbled something about nosey nephew’s before Bilbo gladly answered. “I’m a writer. Or at least I’d like to be. Right now I’m working at a coffee place.”

“And how did you meet?” Fili asked quickly.

That was the question that Thorin feared the most. He waited for Bilbo’s answer.

“Well, we, um-“

“Can I take your order?” the waiter cut in with a smile. Thorin internally thanked him for the interruption.

They ordered quickly and Thorin moved in to change the subject before Fili could ask again. “So Legolas, Bard tells me you’re going to Erebor U.”

“Yes.” Legolas replied with a polite smile, “I’m really looking forward to it.”

“I bet.” Bilbo chirped, “Erebor U is fantastic. I seriously considered taking another course just so I could stick around a little longer.”

Thorin smiled and Bard laughed lightly, “I know what you mean, though I don’t miss living in that dingy little flat with Thorin and Dwalin. Legolas won’t have to worry about that at least, we got him a private dorm room.”

“Thankfully.” Legolas huffed, “I don’t know how I’d deal with an obnoxious roommate.”

“Don’t worry Legs, I’ll be around enough to keep you company.” Fili smirked flirtatiously.

“Somehow I think that’s worse than an obnoxious roommate.” Legolas replied smoothly.

“You like me, Legs, the sooner you accept that part of yourself, the sooner we can move forward.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Legolas replied with a definite blush on his face that surprised everyone, including Fili.

“S-So, Fili, I take it that you’re going to Erebor U, as well?” Bilbo asked to break the sudden tension.

Fili brightened up a bit, “Yep! Business school, gonna do what Uncle does, one day.”

“And you’re brother?”

“Kili wants to be a photographer like Uncle Frerin. He’s going to be taking all the arty type classes. It works out great, since only one of us could take over Durin Industries.” 

“I didn’t know your brother was a photographer.” Bilbo said, directing his attention to Thorin.

“Frerin does what he likes, photography is his main source of unemployment, as well as pottery, painting, and poetry. Right now he’s traipsing around Egypt with his latest girlfriend, trying to ‘understand the ways of the sand,’ at least that’s what he said.” Thorin’s grumbled made Bilbo laugh in the way that instantly made Thorin happy again.

“And your sister? What’s she like?” Bilbo asked.

“My mother is beautiful!” Fili exclaimed, “But terrifying.” He added, “She funds charities and art galleries. Our father brings in the money with his paintings.”

“Father was terribly upset when she came home and said that she wanted to marry an artist.” Thorin added with further thought, “Once Fili and Kili came along he accepted her husband.”

“Thranduil’s father was never all that keen on me either.” Bard chuckled, “I believe his words were ‘too common for people of our class.’ Thranduil was furious of course, and even more determined to date me than before.”

“That sounds like father,” Legolas smiled.

“How do you plan on spending the last of your vacation days?” Bard asked Legolas, “Now that you’ve got everything packed, there isn’t much to do.”

“Kili, Tauriel and I are going to a club on Friday.” Fili prompted, “You should tag along.”

“Maybe I will.” Legolas replied nonchalantly.

Much to Thorin’s amazement, the conversation never turned and went back to Bilbo and Thorin’s relationship. They were able to eat their meals without mention of ‘SugarDaddiedErebor.com,’ or of the fact the Bilbo was wearing clothes well out of the price range of a barista. And when everyone said their goodbyes, Thorin felt like things might actually get back on track.

“It was nice to meet you Bilbo.” Fili said with a grin. He shook Bilbo’s hand and proceeded to hug his uncle. While they were close, he leant in to whisper in Thorin’s ear. “I didn’t take you for a cradle-robber, uncle. Take care of your little darling.”  
He pulled away with a smirk and Thorin felt his face heat up in embarrassment. Bilbo saw Thorin’s discomfort and kiss him on the cheek. “That wasn’t so bad, now was it?”

“I guess not.” Thorin mumbled, “But I’d rather try again. How about dinner at my place? How’s Friday?”

“Friday’s good,” Bilbo smiled, “I’ll see you then.”

 

So lunch hadn’t exactly gone as planned, but Bilbo still was coming over for dinner, so in a way, the plan worked. Thorin was flying high as he prepared a delicious meal for his love to enjoy, because he knew that there was no chance of running into anyone he knew while he was in the safe confines of his own apartment. 

Thorin’s cooking skills didn’t go far beyond a roast chicken and vegetables, but he really had a flare in the romance department, or at least he thought he did. Candles were always a classic, so he bought a dozen vanilla scented ones and placed them artistically around the room. 

The next step was to ready himself. He put on a little cologne and decided to forgo the full suit that he usually went with. A simple pair of black pants and a navy blue shirt was the best choice, especially if he and Bilbo end up rushing to the bedroom in a fit of passion. He didn’t want clothes to hinder the fun.

With only a few minuted until Bilbo’s scheduled arrival, Thorin noticed something slightly off, but he couldn’t quite place what it was. He checked the food, and it was perfect. He checked his appearance, and he looked handsome. What was it?

He took an audible sniff and realised the problem was the candles. They had been burning for about an hour and his whole apartment smelt like it had been dipped in vanilla extract. In a fit of panic, he ran around the apartment and blew out all the candles, he opened all the windows to vent the apartment as much as he could before Bilbo arrived.

But it was all for naught, as the bell rang and Bilbo was standing on the other side of the door.

Thorin inwardly groaned at the thought of letting Bilbo into his apartment when it smelt like melted ice cream, but he couldn’t leave him standing there all night. He swallowed his pride and opened the door with a smile.

Bilbo greeted him with a kiss and walked in with a smile, “So what are we having?” He paused as he inhaled the scent permeating throughout the room, “Um, Vanilla pudding? Vanilla cupcakes? Something with Vanilla in it?”

“Roast chicken.” Thorin answered shyly.

“Oh.” Bilbo said in surprise.

“I, um, lit too many scented candles and, well, you can see for yourself what happened.”

Thorin had felt like he had ruined the night, but the joyous steam of laughter that Bilbo spouted changed his mind quickly.

Tears of joy brimmed Bilbo’s eyes, he laughed and leant his head on Thorin’s chest, “Oh-ha- that’s so cute. Ha-ha.”

After a little while he seemed to calm down a bit, “Aww, Thorin, you’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”

Thorin smiled, softly and genuinely. “I’m glad to hear it. Now why don’t we sit at my scented apartment and eat the sub-par meal I’ve prepared.”

“Let’s do it.”

Thorin’s meal wasn’t too bad, Bilbo ate with the same amount of enthusiasm as he usually did, and the wine flowed freely between them both. As they laughed and chatted, it seemed like it was just a normal date between two people, with absolutely no weird online hook-up.

With their meal finished, Thorin and Bilbo moved to the couch, their glasses of wine forgotten on the table as Bilbo moved to sit on Thorin’s lap.

Their lips pressed together in a slow drag, Bilbo feels just as warm in his hands as Thorin had dreamed, his lips taste just as sweet. Their little kisses and touches were nothing compared to this. Thorin moved his hands to cup Bilbo’s cushy ass, both of them letting out a groan as he did. Bilbo’s hands move from their place on Thorin’s shoulders and slid up to cup his face, they deepened the kiss with the addition of Bilbo’s enthusiastic tongue meshing with Thorin’s. 

“Mmm~ Thorin.” Bilbo groaned. 

“Bilbo,” Thorin rumbled lowly, “So good.” 

One of his hands slip from their place on Bilbo’s ass and up his shirt. He greedily felt all the warm, soft skin that he could, wanting more and more of it by the second. 

And perhaps he could have gotten more, but as fate would have it, tonight wasn’t going to be his night.

The sound of a key turning in the lock snapped Thorin’s attention away from the eager and agreeable bundle of cuteness in his lap.

The door slammed open and two interlocked bodies stumbled in, Thorin and Bilbo wordlessly gaped at Fili and Legolas as they pawed and groped each other, kissing in a mess of lips and tongue and teeth.

If Thorin wasn’t so stunned, he’d yell at them both until he was blue in the face, but even he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Oh Fili,” Legolas moaned, “Take me.”

“With pleasure.” Fili growled back.

Without noticing the two stunned figures on the couch, Fili and Legolas stumbled into the spare bedroom and slammed the door shut. But the spectacle didn’t end there.

Much to Thorin’s horror and Bilbo’s mortification, a symphony of moaning, groaning, swearing, and fumbling, was mixed with the sound of clothes being roughly handled and a bed-side lamp shattering.

“I’ve wanted this for so long!”

“Me too!”

“Hurry up, I can’t wait any longer!”

Thorin stood and pick up his keys from the bench, he looked back at Bilbo, “I think we should go.”

They drove to Bilbo’s house, and by the time they got there, they were too tired and too uncomfortable to go any further. They simply curled up on Bilbo’s bed and went to sleep.

Thorin would have to kill his nephew in the morning.


	8. The Eighth Step is to Let Daddy Keep you Close...

Maybe it was the mattress Thorin had bought for Bilbo, or the sheets and pillows… Or maybe it was simply because he had a warm and loving body tucked into his side, but this was the best sleep that Thorin had ever woken up from.

Thorin’s tired eyes blinked a few times, adjusting to the small amount of light that the morning provided. He looked over to the clock on Bilbo’s bedside table. It was 7:00 Am. He always woke up too early.

He felt Bilbo stir, their bare skin grazing together pleasantly. They had slept in only their briefs and shared some skin-to-skin contact that they both enjoyed. But nothing had progressed beyond cuddling.

Thorin was a little disappointed, (but not angry) that he didn’t get to have Bilbo, but he supposed that when they finally did get to it, they’d be all the more eager.

The one thing that Thorin did feel angry about was the fact that his nephew ruined his night. He had given a key to Dis and to Dwalin just in case, and it seemed that Fili had taken the key and had been using his apartment for hook-ups. Who knows how long it’s been going on! Thorin went on a lot of business trips, and if Fili has access to the key, then, well… He might need to throw out the spare bed.

“Mornin’.” Bilbo whispered.

Thorin’s murderous thought’s left him at the sound of love’s soft voice. Bilbo’s eyes were half lidded from sleep and his golden curls were mussed, he looked as though he was just asking to be ravished. 

“Moring, beautiful.” Thorin rumbled with a smile.

Bilbo smiled sweetly up at him, batting his lashes like some clichéd cartoon character, “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out yesterday, I wouldn’t mind… getting a little closer.”

Thorin could feel his heart pound in his chest, his mouth went dry, “And we will,” He croaked, “I would have you now, if I could.”

Bilbo sighed, running his finger up and down Thorin’s chest, “I wish, but I’m ill-equipped, I have no, you know…”

Thorin kissed Bilbo’s forehead, “Don’t worry. I want to do this properly, with all the pampering and romance you could dream of, you deserve as much.”

Bilbo beamed a bright grin and sat up, his curls bouncing as he did so. “So, what romantic activity should we do today?”

Thorin took Bilbo’s hand tenderly in his, gazing in his eyes as he spoke. “Do you want to go back to my apartment and ruin Fili’s morning?”

Bilbo continued to grin widely, “Oh darling, I’d love to.”

 

Thorin’s apartment was just as they left it, which was a good sign. It would have been a shame if Fili and Legolas were already awake. 

Bilbo tried to supress the snickers as Thorin quietly and slowly opened the door to the spare room. And they wished at that moment that they had never even entertained the thought of opening that door. 

Because there they were, two young bodies tangled together in post coital rapture. Thorin had seen Thranduil’s pale ass once, and now he had seen Legolas’s pale ass. That’s two too many pale asses, in Thorin’s opinion.

But that wasn’t really the issue, he was seeing way more of Fili then he ever wanted. Sure, he had bathed Fili and Kili when they were little kids, but Fili was a man now, a man in every sense of the word. 

Thorin turned away to stop himself from being sick, but as he turned he caught sight of Bilbo’s impossibly red face. He quickly put his hand over Bilbo’s eyes before backing them both out of the room.

“Ok, so maybe that wasn’t such a good idea.” Thorin coughed.

Bilbo nodded furiously in response.

After a minute of trying to forget what they’d seen, Bilbo forced his mind back to revenge, hoping that it would distract both he and Thorin.

“You have speakers, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” Thorin replied, not understanding the reason for the question.

“Well…” Bilbo smirked mischievously.

With the speakers of Thorin’s stereo placed carefully in the spare room, Bilbo sifted through Thorin’s cd collection. Aside from the novelty of knowing someone actually owns cd’s, Bilbo was surprised that Thorin’s music collection was as hard-core as he had imagined. Rock music doesn’t really cut it anymore. So Bilbo plugged his phone into the speakers and quickly found a song that would do the trick.

He smiled at Thorin as he turned it up to full and pressed play.

Thorin didn’t know what the monstrosity of a song was called, but the moment the singer roared ‘TURN DOWN FOR WHAT’, two loud screams came from Fili and Legolas, and then a loud thud sound. One of them must have fallen of the bed in shock.

Fili appeared at the door, swinging it open with all the force he had. He looked frantic and frazzled, his hair was messy and knotted from his hasty departure from the bed, and all that covered him was a white bed sheet.

“UNCLE! WHAT THE-“

“Good morning, nephew.” Thorin cut in with a faux coldness in his voice. “Are you well rested?”

Fili looked at a loss for words, his mouth agape but no sounds coming from it.

Bilbo snickered behind his hand and Thorin crossed his arms, waiting for his nephew to say something.

“Well?” Thorin continued, “Speak up, boy!”

Fili swallowed nervously, “I- We- um, I didn’t think you’d be home.”

“Uh-huh,” Thorin nodded, “You didn’t think I’d be in my own apartment.”

“I thought you’d be out with Bilbo.” Fili added meekly.

“Bilbo was with me.” Thorin clarified.

“Bilbo was-“ Fili groaned, “Oh God.”

“Isn’t your bed-partner going to join us?” Thorin questioned.

“He’s embarrassed.” Fili mumbled with a blush on his face.

“I don’t blame him. Why the hell you would bring him here anyway? I work with his father for goodness sake!”

“Well I couldn’t take him home, mum’s there, dad and Kili too. Do you know how hard it would be to bring someone I like home to them? Just kill me now!” Fili threw his arms in there with exasperation, the sheet around his waist slipping a little before he caught it again.

“How many times have you brought a date to my home?” Thorin continued, he was being genuinely stern now, with the humour from the wake up worn off.

“This is the first time.” Fili said in all honesty, “I took mum’s copy of your key cos’ I hoped the night would end like it did. I wanted to be prepared…”

Bilbo felt a pang of sympathy for the boy, and he could see the feeling mirrored in Thorin’s eyes, but they couldn’t just let this go!

“Alright.” Thorin began again, “You and Legolas will do all my laundry, return the key to Dis without her knowing, and vow to never touch it again. Also, you’re not to mention Bilbo to anyone until I’ve introduced him myself. If you do that, I might consider forgiving you for ruining our date.”

Fili’s shoulder slumped as he pouted, “I didn’t mean to be a cock-block, Uncle, honest. I’m sorry.”

Thorin growled lowly under his breath, ‘An apology won’t get me laid,’ He thought bitterly.

Legolas emerged from the room with his clothes on, he was busy fixing his hair into a messy in an attempt to not look at anyone in the room.

“Legs,” Fili said with the softest of smiles, he approached his new lover cautiously, “You’re up.”

“Yes, well,” Legolas blushed as he mumbled his response, “I couldn’t let you deal with the scolding on your own.”

It was impossible for Fili’s smile to get any wider, and Thorin was happy to see him so happy, but it was getting harder and harder to be mad at the two young ones…

 

After the laundry was done, Thorin treated them all to a hearty breakfast at Bombur’s. Fili and Legolas went their own way, leaving Thorin and Bilbo to themselves. A strange awkwardness hung between them.

“Look, Thorin I know I said I wanted to… you know, but I’m just not in the mood anymore.” Bilbo confessed worriedly.

Thorin sighed, “I know how you feel. I don’t think I could after seeing both Fili and Legolas naked.” He shuddered at the thought.

Bilbo smiled in relief, “Good. I’ve got work later this afternoon, but let me know if you want to have dinner later, ok?”

“Will do.” Thorin smiled, “As soon as l take care of a few things.”

They kissed softly as a goodbye. Thorin called a taxi for Bilbo and gave him a wad of bills to pay for it. He didn’t know how much he had handed over, but it was of no consequence. 

They didn’t see each other for another week, which was fine since they texted often. But the small period of separation gave Thorin time to think about the nature of their relationship. Thorin used to like being left to himself, but nowadays he quickly got bored, not realising until now just how much more fun life is with Bilbo in it. Bilbo was all he ever thought about, he would walk past a shop and think of how Bilbo would be suited for a type of clothing, or he would think of how something would be useful to him. He tried going online to find Bilbo an apartment, but none of them seemed good enough for his sweetheart.

Thorin sat back in his leather wheelie desk chair, his hands behind his head. He began to think, if Bilbo needed a new place, why not simply have him move in to Thorin’s place? He had the space, and he certainly liked the idea of waking up to Bilbo beside him every morning, and they could put a desk right next to Thorin’s for him to work on his writing.

His eyes brightened at the thought, it was a brilliant idea! He could picture it, coming home from a long day of work with Bilbo there to greet him, an apron tied around his waist after a day of baking Thorin’s favourite treats. Then they would kiss and Thorin would bend him over the nearest surface…

Thorin could hardly contain his excitement, he had to go to Bilbo right away and ask him if he would want to move in with him. But he knew that Bilbo was at work at the moment, after a moment of thought, he determined that he simply had to go see Bilbo right away, work or no work. He might even consider it romantic.

 

Thorin had only ever driven past Bilbo’s workplace. He never had a need to go inside, since the coffee was cheap and the premises too far away for a casual visit.

But he went anyway, feeling a little nervous about leaving his car in a questionable looking neighbourhood, worst case scenario, he has to buy a new car.

The coffee shop in question was small but tidy, the doorbell chimed as he entered. Thorin felt ridiculously out of place one he saw the interior, and the patrons.

The first thing he noticed was that there were no proper chairs, instead there were vintage looking couches of various heights, and random wooden tables of varying heights. On the walls were vinyl record covers and band posters of groups that Thorin had never heard of, the walls themselves were brick with random bits of torn floral wall paper. 

Thorin felt ashamed at his lack of fedora, his beard clearly wasn’t long enough to be considered fashionably non-mainstream. His un-ironic suit felt a little stuffy, but he pushed passed his odd feeling of inadequacy and headed to the service counter where he could see Bilbo busily making coffee.

Thorin smiled as he caught Bilbo’s eye, and Bilbo returned with a quick smile of his own. Thorin patiently waited for the other customer to be served before he approached again, looking every bit as rich and handsome as he always did.

“I didn’t expect you to ever set foot in a place that has three dollar coffee.” Bilbo laughed lightly, he leant on the counter, his curls falling in a way that made him look both adorable and delectable. 

“I had to talk to you about something. I have no intention of ordering any coffee, though I bet your coffee is the best in the city.” Thorin said with a handsome smoulder.

“It’s passable.” Bilbo smiled, “Now what did you want to talk to me about?”

Thorin took one of Bilbo’s hands in his and kissed them once, “I want you to live with me.”

“We’ve only known each other a few months.” Bilbo mumbled in shock.

“I know.” Thorin muttered into Bilbo’s fingers, softly kissing them every few seconds, “But I’ve never wanted anything more. Don’t you think it would be nice? We clearly enjoy each other’s company, and you won’t have to work here anymore, you could focus on your writing.”

“Thorin, this is mad!” Bilbo exclaimed.

Thorin’s expression fell, but as soon as it did, he was kissed softly.

“It’s mad, but I-I think it could work.” Bilbo added softly, “I love the thought of seeing you every day… God, this is going to be the craziest thing I’ve ever done.” He laughed lightly.

“Baggins.” A sharp voice cut in, “You should be working, not flirting with customers.” 

He must have be Bilbo’s boss, Thorin thought with a grimace.

“I wasn’t, Mr Smaug, he’s my boyfriend.” Bilbo replied in a mumble.

Bilbo’s boss, a tall and slender man with tidy brown hair and a sinister nose, sneered in Thorin’s direction.

“You said you didn’t want to date me because of the age difference, and yet you date this guy? What is he? Fifty?”

“Forty-two.” Thorin answered in a low tone, “Clearly Bilbo just used age as an excuse.”

“Or maybe he’s just playing you for all your dough.” Smaug hissed back.

Thorin growled under his breath and smoothed his hand over his tie. Maybe that could have been true when the relationship started, but they didn’t see themselves in that kind of relationship. Thorin liked paying for things, and Bilbo never actually asked for anything. So how could it be seen as something negative?

“No.” Bilbo replied simply, “I didn’t want to date you, but I do want to date Thorin.”

“I don’t like my employee’s fraternizing during work, so I’m cutting all of your shifts.”

Bilbo calmly untied his apron and placed it on the counter, “No need. I quit.”

“Fine.” Smaug replied coldly, “You can tell your friend Ori that no longer needs to come in either.”

“You can’t fire Ori because of me!” Bilbo protested loudly.

“I can and I just did, now get the hell out of my shop.”

“Gladly.” Bilbo hissed back, he took Thorin’s hand and stormed out of the store. But once they were back in Thorin’s car, he buried his face in his hands, “What am I going to tell Ori? He needs this job!”

“I’m sure Dwalin will take care of him.” Thorin provided, “He loves being the knight in shining armour.”

“But it’s not fair! He shouldn’t get fired just because of me.” Bilbo exclaimed. “It’s the principle.”

Thorin leant over and kissed Bilbo softly, hoping to stem the tide of rage, “We’ll go to your house and speak to Ori, I’m sure he’ll understand. To be honest, I doubt he’d be all that upset. That boss of yours is a rude and nasty bugger.”

“Maybe.” Bilbo mumbled, “I guess we’ll find out once we see him.”

 

They were at Bilbo’s apartment in no time at all, and were greeted with the sight of Dwalin trying to coax Ori into a kiss as he attempted to cook. 

They should have known that the two would be together.

“Bilbo, Thorin! What are you two doing here? I thought you had work, Bilbo.” Ori greeted with a giggle as Dwalin tickled his sides.

“I, um, got fired.” Bilbo muttered.

“That’s terrible!” Ori exclaimed, “What for?”

“It was my fault,” Thorin answered, “I came to see him and he got in trouble for fraternising.”

“I say good riddance,” Bilbo huffed, “But that’s not the issue…” He looked sadly at his friend, “Smaug was mad, so he sort of… fired you too.”

Orin blinked a few times before he broke into a fit of laughter, “At least I’ll get severance pay! I was going to quit, but it seems now I don’t have to.”

“You were going to quit?” Bilbo asked with a questioning look.

“Yep.” Ori said proudly, “I don’t need that job, because I’m getting published!”

“What?!” Bilbo squealed in delight, “You did??!!”

Ori nodded happily, “Yep, two weeks from now my ‘Brief History of Erebor’ will be on shelves, I got a cash advance that’s five times more than a week of pay at Smaug’s.”

“We’re going out to dinner to celebrate later,” Dwalin said with a proud smile.

“I’m so happy for you.” Bilbo said softly. “Thorin and I have some news too.”

“We’re moving in together.” Thorin cut in, not being able to hide it any longer.

There seemed to be an endless stream of celebration happening that day, they all went out to dinner to celebrate Ori, then Bilbo and Thorin took the first of Bilbo’s things to Thorin’s apartment. They made plans to move Bilbo’s bed, too. it would be used to replace the one in the spare bedroom. It wasn’t exactly a loss for Thorin, he wasn’t sad to get rid of something his nephew had fornicated on.

Best of all, Bilbo seemed happy as he said goodbye to his old apartment, for now at least.

But when Thorin and Bilbo were alone, the mood certainly shifted. Bilbo seemed… sad. He sat on the edge of his and Thorin’s bed, his hands clasped together and his expression clearly melancholy. 

Thorin approached him gently, wondering why it was that his sweetheart was suddenly so down.

“Bilbo? What’s the matter? Are you… regretting this decision?” Thorin asked tentatively, his arm carefully sliding around Bilbo’s waist.

“I-I just…” He sighed, “Ori’s getting published, he’s making progress in his career, and what have I done? I’m just an unemployed Uni graduate with a half-finished manuscript.”

Thorin gave a deep, rumbling chuckle, Bilbo looked sharply at him for an explanation as to what he thought was so funny. 

“You’re still very young, darling.” Thorin began with a fond sigh, “You can’t expect to have your life sorted out so soon into your twenties. It takes time, unless you’re me and Dwalin and you were born into money… What I’m trying to say is that you’re going the normal pace, things will work out just fine, even if they seem far away right now. You have half a manuscript, most people never get as far as the first paragraph.”

Bilbo turned his doe eyes to look up at Thorin, for perhaps the first time he was noticing the difference between them, and it was age, it was maturity. Thorin was an adult, whereas Bilbo felt like he was still a teenager, he didn’t feel any different at Twenty three then he did at sixteen. 

He felt his heart flutter as he pressed his forehead into Thorin’s chest, “I’d like to have sex now, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The coffee shop is based on an actual café near my uni, it's the most hipster place I've ever seen. On top of all that it's called 'The Unicorn.' Good menu tho, there's like 50 didn't types of milkshakes! 
> 
> I hope you liked the ending ; )


	9. The Ninth Step is to Give Daddy Some Sugar...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIDE YO' SCREENS AND HIDE YO' CHILDREN COS' MAJOR NSFW
> 
> I hope you like this chapter, I nearly died of embarrassment while writing it. It doesn't matter how many times I've done it, it's just not easy to write the word 'cock'. I guess gay fanfiction was a bad business to get into then...

Bilbo’s words echoed in Thorin’s mind a few times before they finally sunk in. Bilbo had thought that he had broken Thorin, and wanted desperately for him to return to his senses.

“Thorin?” Bilbo said, “Thorin!”

“What?” Thorin replied, all dazed and confused.

“Are you alright?” Bilbo asked worriedly

Thorin blinked a couple of times, “Ah, yes, yes. I’m fine… But did I hear you correctly? That you wanted to-“

“Have sex? Yes.” Bilbo confirmed.

“Well.” Thorin swallowed the thick lump of nervousness, “I believe I can manage that.”

Bilbo raised a questioning brow, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Thorin said with a definite nod. He tried to remind himself that confidence was sexy, and his last few sentences were not sexy at all. He needed to recover from his faux pas as quickly as possible.

He dropped his voice down a few octaves so he could sound manly and powerful, and hopefully sexy too. “I’ll take good care of you.” He pressed a strong kiss to Bilbo’s lips to reiterate his point, and to give Bilbo a taste of what was to come.

He expected Bilbo to kiss back, which he did, but Thorin did not expect the delectable mewl that flowed from his young lover’s lips and reverberated through his body. Thorin felt himself begin to shake with anticipation, oh, this wasn’t good.

He pulled away from the kiss and Bilbo gave a disappointed whine. Thorin did well in maintaining a cool demeanour, at least on the surface.

“I need to get some things from the bathroom,” Thorin said with a deep rumble of his baritone voice, “And when I get back, I expect to see you undressed and waiting for me.”

Thorin got up and pulled away from Bilbo without another look in his sweetheart’s direction. His stride was confident until he reached the bathroom and shut the door. Now that he was out of Bilbo’s sight, he pressed his forehead against the door, breathing heavily in the hopes of calming himself.

It’s been a while.

Longer than he would care to say.

And now that he finally had the object of his affections willing and probably already naked in the next room, he knew he could blow it by climaxing too soon. He had felt this scared since his first time many, many, many years ago.

Thorin sighed out a long breath and went to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of lubrication and his box of condoms. He flipped the box to look at the expiry date, it was three days from now, he made a mental note to buy more.

He took a deep breath before he opened the bathroom door again, he had to remain calm and in control, he only got one chance at a first time with his young lover, and he was desperate to prove that his age made him no less virile. 

Thorin had to bite the inside of his cheek really hard in order to not come apart, after being greeted with a sight that was beyond anything he could have ever dreamed.

Though Bilbo was simply kneeling on Thorin’s large bed, clad in nothing and blushing brightly, it was the single most wonderful thing Thorin had ever seen.

Thorin really did have a kink for innocence. Bilbo seemed too small for the large expanse of Thorin’s bed, but he had the fully grown body of a young adult, complete with plush thighs and the kind of curves that came with a healthy love of food. Oh how Thorin wanted to run his hands over those hips… He stood there and stared for a brief time before he realised that he actually could.

He approached the bed and put the supplies down so he could undress. He did so efficiently, removing each article of clothing with a miraculous lack of fumbling, allowing each garment to fall to the ground without a second thought. He stopped when he got to his underwear and took that as his cue to climb onto the bed. He sat on the edge and cupped Bilbo’s smooth cheek affectionately, and Bilbo in turn pressed his eager lips to the palm of Thorin’s hand. 

“Are you sure about this?” Thorin asked one more time. Although he wanted this, it was more important that Bilbo did, since he was the one getting something shoved into him, so to speak.

“Please Daddy.” Bilbo whined.

Oh. Thorin was a goner.

He pressed Bilbo down against the pillows and lifted one of Bilbo’s soft legs on his shoulder. He reached for the lube and opened the bottle with his teeth, pouring some onto one hand and then let the bottle fall to the side.

Without another word, Thorin pressed in a finger, and Bilbo responded with a hiss, “Cold!”

Thorin inwardly scolded himself, ‘Always warm the lube, Always warm the lube, Always warm the lube, Always warm the lube, Always warm the-‘

A soft mewl resounded from Bilbo short after, his body adjusting the appendage and the temperature. Thorin sighed out a breath of relief and focused his mind back on the task at hand.

He used his spare hand to caress every inch of Skin he could, Bilbo was every bit as soft as he looked, and so smooth that it seemed he had no hair at all. 

In Thorin’s experience, he knew that truly wonderful love-making was ninety percent foreplay, and ten percent penetration. But now wasn’t the time for maths.

Breathing heavily, he set himself the task of finding every sensitive point on Bilbo’s body, while his other hand continued preparing him.

Bilbo moaned and mewled when Thorin would run his rough hand over his sides, his breath would stutter when Thorin felt his inner thighs, and he would whimper when he travelled over his chest. 

Thorin forgot about everything and took a moment to take in the sight of his young lover, whose legs were spread open for his pleasure. How could such a delectable young thing be his? He was a grumpy middle aged man with a few grey hairs, and every year his pants sat just a little higher, but somehow he had this honey-haired dream in his bed. 

“Thorin.” Bilbo moaned in a way that could only exist in a dream, surely there was no way he could sound so perfect and look so perfect, but he was exactly that, perfect.

Bilbo was gently rocking against Thorin’s hand, seeming to be ready enough for something more.

Two more finger’s followed, and the other hand remained its task of roaming over Bilbo’s sensitive places, Thorin increased the pressure slightly as to increase the sensation.

Thorin didn’t know that he was in a trance until he heard Bilbo make a particularly lewd moan, it was then that he realised just how painfully hard he was, and how much he desperately wanted to mount his lover and make him scream.

Shaking slightly, Thorin pulled away long enough to reach for the condom. His large hands fumbled and shook uselessly. He was almost ready to growl out his frustration when the little silver packet finally gave way and he had access to its contents.

He felt relieved at the fact that Bilbo was too overcome with need to notice his embarrassing fumbling. But the moment he pressed the rubber to his tip, it was nearly over before it truly began. He bit his lip so hard he was sure it would bleed, but it was worth it to keep himself from coming.

They were both breathing in heavy pants, Thorin moved himself into place and braced his hands on either side of Bilbo’s head. With one very controlled hip movement, he slowly sheathed himself in his lover for the first time.

“OH FUCKING SHIT GODDAM!!!” Thorin shouted all too loudly, “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!” He groaned. It was too much and Bilbo was too perfect and it had been so long and he really, really liked him, and oh! He was a dead man, he was sure of it.

Thorin was paralysed, worried that if he moved even slightly, it would be the end, but Bilbo was having none of it. 

“Fuck me, Daddy.” He panted.

Thorin just thought, ‘Fuck it. I’m going for it.’

Thorin’s pace was brutal and punishing in the most wonderful way, there was so much power in his hips, Bilbo thought that this was how he was going to die, but what a wonderful death it would be.

Thorin’s bed was too well built to creak, but it did rock with every fierce thrust of Thorin’s hips. There was something primal unleashed in Thorin, the growling, the fast and deep push of his cock. If Bilbo could think of anything but the blinding pleasure, he would have wondered how it was that such a cool and collected man like Thorin could make love like a wild beast.

When Bilbo came to a euphoric ending, his mind so wracked that his cries were silent, but his body taunt in that perfect arch, Thorin couldn’t believe his eyes. He couldn’t hold on any longer, and like a bolt of lightning, his climax hit him and for a second, he thought he could see every star in the galaxy, but no, he just had the most intense orgasm of his life.

Thorin gripped the pillow beside Bilbo’s head as tightly as he could so he didn’t collapse on his lover. He couldn’t move until the last shuddering waves of pleasure washed through him. When he could he pulled out and fell to the side.

They were breathing heavily, they were sweaty, and Thorin was sure his hips would hurt as much as Bilbo ass will in the morning, but, TOTALLY WORTH IT!

“That was amazing.” Bilbo laughed breathlessly, “I can’t believe- I just- You’ve fucked the words right out of me.”

“Yeah.” Thorin panted. “Was” *huff* “Great.”

Bilbo rolled onto Thorin’s chest and kissed every inch of face, neck and chest that he could reach. “Thorin, you were just so amazing.” he sighed happily, “It was more than I could have dreamed.”

Thorin smirked proudly, inwardly cheering at the fact that Bilbo didn’t notice his awkward fumbling at the beginning, and a in the middle… and a little at the end. His lover was satisfied, and that’s all he needed, though he could really use a cigar right about now… that would be nice…

They sat in silence for a while, simply basking in the afterglow of their wondrous encounter. Bilbo was idly running his fingers through Thorin’s chest hair, reverently awed at the perfect specimen of masculinity.

But Thorin sort of killed the mood.

“So, um, how did you address your parent’s when you were little?” Thorin asked, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.

Bilbo huffed in irritation, gripping on of Thorin’s hairs and pulling it would with a sharp tug, “I addressed them as Mother and Father. And no, I don’t have father issues, in case that was your next question.”

After Thorin had yelped in pain from the unwanted hair removal, he blushed in embarrassment, “I wasn’t going to ask, but good to know.”

Bilbo smiled despite Thorin’s awkwardness and nuzzled his neck affectionately, “I just like the nickname, calling you Daddy is kinda hot, don’t you think so?”

“Wasn’t the hard fucking I gave you not proof enough of my opinion?” Thorin muttered in return, with his hand lovingly buried in Bilbo’s curls.

“Well, I guess I know how to address you when I want something.” Bilbo replied with a mischievous grin.

“And if you do, you’ll receive another hard fucking. Now go to sleep, sweetheart.”

“Whatever you say, ‘Daddy’.”

 

To say that Thorin was affectionate would be an understatement. By the way Thorin was acting, one would think that what Bilbo did was the greatest act of kindness, he treated Bilbo as though he had ended all the worlds suffering and despair in one night.

Bilbo thought it was cute though, the endless stream of loving text messages, the expensive dinners, and rare books that were delivered right to his front door. 

Bilbo was very happy, and of course he enjoyed his little dalliance with Thorin as much as Thorin did, and he was looking forward to do it more.  
But Thorin and Dwalin were soon hit with a lot of work, something to do with an acquisition, so Bilbo and Ori waited patiently to the side until their men were ready for them again.

It had been three weeks since that unforgettable night, and ten days since Bilbo had last seen Thorin. He didn’t mind too much, he knew his man was busy, and Bilbo did want some serious time with his best friend.

Ori was happy too, with his book on print and his love life flourishing. They caught up while baking some scones in their tricked-out kitchen. They figured that they should enjoy it while it lasted, since Bilbo was moving in with Thorin as soon as he had enough time to spare, and Ori was moving too. After hearing of Thorin and Bilbo’s plan, Dwalin and Ori didn’t even pretend that they weren’t thinking the same thing. 

Bilbo and Ori were enjoying the precious time they had left in their little apartment, since it seemed they were moving up in the world.

Bilbo had the bench covered in flour as he worked the dough with a rolling pin, his hands covered in white up to his elbows. It seemed that when Bilbo baked, he immersed himself in it completely. 

So when his phone buzzed with a message from Thorin, he couldn’t answer it.

“Ori, could you read me that text from Thorin? I don’t want to get flour on my phone.”

Ori happily put aside the cream he was whipping so he could fulfil his friend’s request. He fetched Bilbo phone from the end of the bench and swiped for the message. His eyes widened and his face went red, then a stream of giggles followed.

“What did he say?” Bilbo asked innocently.

“Oh he didn’t SAY anything.” Ori said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“What?” Bilbo questioned. Ori held the phone up for Bilbo to see, and he had the exact same response as his friend.

“D-Did Thorin just send me a dick-pic?” Bilbo giggled.

“Well, that’s not a finger Bilbo. You’re a lucky boy.” Ori let out a wolf-whistle to tease his friend.

Bilbo snatched his phone back, no longer caring about the flour on his hands. “Goodness…” He muttered with a blush on his face, “I didn’t really get a proper look at it, but as far as cock’s go, this one’s nice.”

Bilbo felt himself grow a little hot under the collar at the thought of Thorin sitting at his large oaken desk, his pants undone and his hand wrapped around himself while thinking of Bilbo…

“So you and Thorin are sexting now?” Ori questioned.

“This is the first one he’s sent me.” Bilbo replied.

“Really? Dwalin and I have been doing it since the first date.” Ori said smugly.

“That’s because you’re a horny bastard.” Bilbo teased good-naturedly. 

“Since I’ve seen Thorin’s, do you want to see Dwalin’s?”

“NO!”

“Are you sure?”

“…ok, I do.”

Ori grinned widely as he fished his own phone out of his pocket. He opened up his gallery and swiped over until he found his favourite one.

Bilbo took the phone in hand and gazed at the screen, “Well, Dwalin’s a big boy.”

“You’re telling me.” Ori laughed. “We should compare pics.” Ori said excitedly as the idea hit him.

“Yes, let’s!” Bilbo replied with far too much eagerness.

With their phones sat side-by-side, they analysed the photos with close attention to detail.

“Thorin’s longer…” Ori said thoughtfully, “But Dwalin’s thicker.”

“I think you’re right.” Bilbo nodded.

The pair looked that two judges in a dog showing competition, trying to decide which the better breed was.

“How does he perform?” Ori asked as though he were talking of a car.

“Very well, he’s sort of like a beast in heat.” Bilbo laughed at his own description. “And Dwalin?”

“He really likes to bend me over things…” Ori said thoughtfully, “Mounts me like I’m a prize mare… Except when he’s drunk, in that case he’s really slow and gentle. One time he spent the whole time sobbing about how much he loves me.” Ori smiled fondly at the memory. “It was actually the sweetest moment we ever shared.”

“Well,” Bilbo said with a nod, not knowing exactly what to do with that information, “Thorin and I have only done it once, but when I gather more data we can compare notes again.”

Ori laughed, “Sounds good.”

“I better reply.” Bilbo said with his blush blooming anew.

“I think I’ll send one to Dwalin,” Ori said with a wink, “Surprise him.”

“You’re such a caring boyfriend.” Bilbo laughed.

“I know.” Ori said with a feigned sigh, “I do my best.”

 

Thorin sat at his desk with his cock tucked back in his pants. His picture idea was spontaneous and thrilling, but he was at work, which meant he had people coming and going at random times. He didn’t want to get caught with his hand down his pants.

When his phone buzzed, his opened the sent image with a great eagerness. What greeted him was the perfect swell of Bilbo’s ass. He groaned, wanting to shove his hand back down where it was a moment ago.

But it’s a good thing he didn’t.

Dwalin barged in at that moment and shut the door behind himself. He had a smug grin on his face, “Hey Thorin, ready to be jealous?”

“Sure,” Thorin grumbled, “What is it?”

Dwalin proudly held up the photo of Ori’s ass that he had just received, “Bet you don’t get stuff like that.”

Thorin considered Ori’s nice, round bottom, nodding in approval as a smirk grew on his face. He held up his own phone for Dwalin to see, smugly displaying the pic he had.

Dwalin nodded, “Well, I didn’t think you guys were there yet.”

“We are.” Thorin confessed, “Not bad, eh?”

“Not bad at all.” Dwalin replied honestly, “But I like Ori’s better.”

“And I like Bilbo’s, so let’s call it a draw.”

“Deal.”

They shook on it like the serious business men they were, both secretly glad that no one’s ego got hurt.

“You don’t think that they, you know, compare picture, do you?” Dwalin said after a long pause.

Thorin considered it, then shook his head, “No, they’re too shy and innocent for that.”

“Yeah.” Dwalin agreed with a more definite tone, “You’re right. They probably can’t even talk about kissing without going all red-faced.”

At least, that’s what they hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added more Ori! I hope you like : ) I love hearing your thoughts and requests, so don't be afraid to comment. I do aim to please. Now that they finally done it, more fun things can happen ; )


	10. The Tenth Step is to Play with Daddy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how many of you have children! It's wonderful! And sharing fanfiction with your spouse? Talk about relationship goals! I loved the comments you left, each one made me smile and some made me laugh.
> 
> Please don't injure yourself while reading this time, or I'll have to put on a waring: 'Excessive laughing may cause humour-inflicted injury'  
> Mentions of drug use tho... just fyi. 
> 
> I just love you guys so much. Please forgive the lateness of this, I'm a uni student and all...

Moving in with Thorin was a lot easier than Bilbo had anticipated. He simply moved his things and his mind followed suit. It was easy enough for him to forget his old apartment when Thorin’s had a wonderfully large bathtub with jets and bubbles. 

Ori was the only thing he’d really miss, but the two promised to meet up at least once a week for coffee. There was no way for them to lose contact when their respective lovers worked at the same place. Now that Bilbo had no job but to write, he felt that he might be able to catch up to Ori professionally.

That was his hope, anyway.

 

Being domestic with Thorin was also easy, once Bilbo realised Thorin’s patterns of behaviour.

He was grumpy in the morning until he had his coffee.

He was grumpy when he came home from work, until he had his Bilbo.

Pretty simple. 

To say that their sex life exploded from then onwards would be an accurate description. After the first week, Thorin had had Bilbo over nearly every surface in their now shared home, as it seemed the man was content to fornicate wherever it was that he found Bilbo at the time. And Bilbo didn’t mind, he enjoyed the activity a great deal, but he especially enjoyed the sweet puppy-like way Thorin would lick and nuzzle him when it was over.

Thorin was just too happy for words, and he showed his happiness through little things, like randomly buying Bilbo a new book or a by surprising him with dinner reservations. Bilbo’s bank account was full even though Bilbo never had to pay for anything himself, at least when he was with Thorin. He was fast becoming Bombur’s new favourite customer with his combined appetite and generous tipping.

Thorin’s family was still unaware, aside from Fili of course, which proved that the boy could at least keep his mouth shut when it came to protecting his budding relationship with Legolas. All the while, Thorin was trying to figure out the best way to tell his family of his relationship without it becoming a total disaster. So far, no such luck, so he kept Bilbo to himself.

They both loved sharing a bed, and did everything on it; watch TV, read, talk, and sort through the mail, like what Thorin was doing now.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed after having come home from work. Bilbo was already there, waiting for him with a book in his hand. He crawled up to Thorin’s back and peeked over his shoulder.

Thorin opened one envelope and took out the letter, he briefly scanned it and rumbled in thought.

“What is it?” Bilbo asked, his hands and chin resting on Thorin’s shoulder.

“It’s an invitation to the Erebor U Alumni Ball.” Thorin said with surprise in his tone. “I didn’t know it was that time of year again.”

“I’ve never heard of any Alumni Ball!” Bilbo exclaimed, feeling offended that he was a graduate of Erebor U just like Thorin and had never gotten any such invitation. 

Thorin chuckled at Bilbo’s offence and patted his hair gently, “You only graduated a short while ago, they won’t invite you until ten years have passed.”

“Oh, right.” Bilbo said with a twitch of embarrassment.

“Besides, you will be going. With me.” Thorin added with a cute smile.

Bilbo giggled and feigned a loud breathy gasp, “You mean I get to go to the ball?! A lowly peasant like me? Oh happy day! I simply must find the perfect dress.”

“That’s enough sass for one day.” Thorin grinned, “But just for the record I’m not opposed to you wearing a dress, if that’s what you truly want.”

Bilbo huffed, “I not that kind of guy, darling.”

“But we will have to find you something nice to wear,” Thorin said as his grin turned into a smirk, “I can’t have my baby dressed in anything but the finest.”

“If daddy wants to dress me up,” Bilbo whispered sweetly as he nuzzled at Thorin’s neck, “Then that’s exactly what daddy is going to do.”

From the moment Bilbo uttered the word ‘daddy’, Thorin was a goner. 

Thorin liked to think that he was romantic when he wanted to be, he did try, but sometimes things were as simple as just removing the pants and getting on with it. Which he did. The mail fell to the floor, forgotten to the two lovers who rutted on the bed in a messy and informal fashion. 

When they were sweaty and their clothes wrinkled, they would separate. Whenever they ended up like this, Thorin was glad he had plenty of suits to wear, or he’d be going to work in crinkled clothes and smelling of booty. 

After Thorin went to work the next day, Bilbo did the breakfast dishes and headed out to find the right outfit for the ball. Bilbo loved clothes and shoes, there was no point in denying it, he just loved them. But his life of involuntary simplicity prevented him from wearing what he truly wanted, but now he had a wealthy boyfriend who loved to spoil him, and he was going to enjoy being spoilt. 

Bilbo decided that the best place would be Thranduil’s. Bilbo liked the man well enough, but he wanted to go to Thranduil because the man had impeccable taste and flare. When he entered the shop, Thranduil was upon him in seconds.

“Bilbo, I know exactly why you’re here!”

“You do?” Bilbo questioned.

“Why yes! You’re Cinderella and I’m the fairy Godmother, and I’m going to get you ready for the ball.”

“I’m not Cinderella.” Bilbo said flatly.

“You can be what you want, but I’m still a fairy.” Thranduil said with a flip of his hair.

“Fine.” Bilbo huffed in good humour, “But how did you know about the ball?”

“Bard and I are Erebor U alumni,” Thranduil smiled, “We got the same invitation. It was easy to assume that you’d be going, with you being Thorin’s little lover and all. He’d never go without you.”

Bilbo smiled bashfully, “Well, yes. I suppose that’s true.”

 

“Now then,” Thranduil announced, clapping his hands together once, “It’s time for this fairy to work his magic!”

The ball wasn’t for another two weeks, but Bilbo was happy to wait for his suit. He passed the time with writing and spending time with Thorin.

 

Bilbo had never had an excuse to wear black-tie before, but here he was, dressed in fine black with gold buttons. He really had to hand it to Thranduil, he made even his chubby mid-section look slim, and he didn’t mean to brag, but his butt had never looked quite so nice. He mourned the days he wasted wearing loose fitting slacks and baggy sweaters. It was just a crime to hide something so scrumptious. He strained to see his butt’s reflection in the bathroom mirror.

“Bilbo.” Thorin’s voice called out, “Ready to go?”

He checked his combed curls in the mirror once before he finally exited the bathroom.

Bilbo looked quite fetching, but Thorin was on a league of his own. He just had the perfect body; tall, muscular, broad shouldered… a cock that made Bilbo tremble…

He wore the same outfit as Bilbo, but his buttons were small and silver. He didn’t look cute like Bilbo, he looked handsome and classy. 

Bilbo let out a long whistle, “Very nice.” 

“That’s what I was going to say,” Thorin said with a playful smirk, “Do a turn for me.”

Bilbo giggled and span around once, letting Thorin take in the whole picture. “Very, very nice.” Thorin complimented, “I’m a lucky man.”

“Yes you are.” Bilbo replied cheekily, “Now, shall we get going?”

They took Thorin’s car and arrived as many others were arriving. As they got out of the car and walked through the parking lot, they met up with Dwalin and Ori.

Ori rushed over and hugged Bilbo, “Hey! Can you believe we’re back here already?”

“It’s unexpected I know, but it should be fun.” They linked arms and walked ahead of their older boyfriends. 

Dwalin hung back with Thorin, “Hey, how’s the move-in going?” Dwalin whispered.

“Good.” Thorin rumbled back, “You?”

“Tired.” Dwalin said with a pleased grin, “But it’s a good tired.”

Thorin quirked a knowing brow and chuckled, “Don’t think you can keep up with the young one anymore?”

Dwalin scoffed, “Please. I’m more man then he can handle, I’m so good that he can’t get enough of me, I-“

“Ok, ok!” Thorin cut in, “I was only jesting. You don’t need to provide detail.”

Little did they know, Bilbo and Ori were perfectly happy with providing detail.

“-On the kitchen table? You eat there!” Bilbo whispered sharply.

“I know,” Ori giggled back, “But he kept touching me under the table! I got too worked up!”

“That actually sounds like fun.” Bilbo mumbled, “The ‘getting worked up’ part, not the part where you defile the place where you eat.”

Ori smirked with a dangerous gleam in his eyes, “I have an idea…”

They separated for a short time, knowing that they’d meet again for the sit-down dinner. 

Bilbo was so enthralled by the glittering lights and the decorations that he was even thinking about food. Every wine glass was polished to the highest possible shine, the waiters and waitresses were dressed smartly in the same crisp black and white of the party-goers.

“H-How many times have you been to this party?” Bilbo asked, feeling a little overwhelmed.

Thorin chuckled, holding Bilbo’s arm snugly in his, “A few. I don’t come every year because it’s actually very boring.”

“How could you think that all this is boring?!” Bilbo exclaimed.

“The only reason people go is to see what their former classmates are up to. Gossiping doesn’t stop after high school.” Thorin said, showing off his age and experience, “That’s sort of why I brought you. This year I have something to show off that isn’t my bank balance, luscious hair or perfect body.”

“As humble as always.” Bilbo replied flatly, “Why don’t we find somewhere to hide and you can tell me all about your former classmates.” 

 

Bilbo indulged in the wine and in Thorin’s good company. They kept to themselves but were having a wonderful time. Bilbo giggled as he and Thorin stood against the far wall, Thorin was telling Bilbo about the people that he knew.

“That’s Gloin and his wife. When we were students he saved his head for five dollars. It was the night he met his wife too, she wasn’t impressed. It took him a long time to grow back his hair, but even longer to regain his honour.” Thorin chuckled, “They’ve got a kid who’s a year younger than my nephews, he won’t stop gushing about how proud he is of him. He’s my accountant now, I dread the end of year taxes because I know I’ll have to listen to Gimli’s life-story.”

“That’s kind of sweet.” Bilbo cooed, “He must be a good father.”

“Oh he is, but it just gets a little annoying.” Thorin admitted gruffly.

“If you had a kid you’d never stop gushing about him.” Bilbo teased with a cute smile.

“You’re probably right.” Thorin mumbled, his small and affectionate smile hidden under his beard.

“And who’s that?” Bilbo inquired, pointing his finger in the direction of undoubtedly the most beautiful woman in all of existence.

“Her name is Galadriel,” Thorin began, “She won the Miss Universe Pageant back in the day, nowadays though she works as an environmental lawyer and is an ambassador for UNICEF.”

“Wow.” Bilbo said in soft whisper, “She’s as perfect as she looks, then?”

“Yep.” Thorin confirmed with a nod, “I read about her in the Erebor Times every now and then, she’s always doing something admirable.”

“It’s a good thing you’re not Bi,” Bilbo grinned, “Or I mightn’t have had a chance.”

Thorin chuckled in a deep rumble, “No, I prefer my lovers to be shorter than me. That way they fit better when they’re underneath me.”

Bilbo giggled and swatted at Thorin’s shoulder.

“And him?” Bilbo continued with another point of his finger.

Thorin looked over to the ‘him’ in question, seeing a man with a glaringly white bald head and a horrid scowl etched onto his face.

Thorin grabbed Bilbo by the shoulders and hauled him close, “Thorin! Wha-“ Bilbo exclaimed.

“Don’t go anywhere near him.” Thorin warned dangerously.

“Why?” Bilbo questioned in a hushed breath.

“Because he vomits on everything I love!”

Bilbo looked at Thorin’s face for any sign that he was joking, but his stone cold expression and humourless tone told him otherwise.

Bilbo exploded into a loud stream of laughter, luckily it was drowned out by the large number of people.

“What?” Thorin exclaimed in utter bewilderment, “It’s true!”

“It’s not that,” Bilbo laughed breathlessly, “T-That was the first time you’ve said that you love me!”

Thorin’s face went so red that even his beard couldn’t hide it. “I, um- I didn’t.” He groaned face-palmed, “SEE! AZOG RUINS EVEYTHING!”

Bilbo’s laughter died down to a few huffs of amusement, he then grabbed Thorin by the shoulder and guided him down to his height, pressing a kiss to Thorin’s stubbled cheek. “It’s alright.” He assured softly, “I think it was rather sweet. I like the whole protective thing.”

“Really?” Thorin asked with a raised brow, “I thought it was considered immature.

“Maybe by some,” Bilbo hummed delightfully, “But I think it’s very sweet, like a warrior protecting his maiden… his maiden who he later ravages against a wall or by a campfire on a starry night.”

“Well, I don’t have a campfire, but there are plenty of walls.” Thorin smirked and encircled Bilbo waist in his strong arms.

“Not here,” Bilbo protested, pushing against Thorin’s chest in a futile attempt to separate them.

Thorin leant down and whispered in his young lover’s ear, “I don’t think you have a choice, oh fair one. I fought for you and now you’re mine.”

“Please don’t tell me that you’re roll-playing at a party?” Dwalin’s voice cut in, surprising Thorin enough to pull away from Bilbo.

“Remember when we were in highschool, and you used to help me get laid?” Thorin grumbled.

Bilbo and Ori laughed behind their hands as Dwalin replied, “Yes, but cock-blocking is so much fun.”

“If you think that then I’ll send Fili and Legolas around your place tonight.”

As a reunited group of four, they all sat down for dinner on a nicely set round table with a crisp white table cloth. Bard and Thranduil joined then and filled the table, after having spent most of the party in the company of Thranduil’s friends and relations.

“Can you believe that Radagast is still wearing that old coat made out of hemp?” Thranduil complained, “It was alright when he was a poor student who couldn’t afford a decent jacket, but the man’s a veterinarian! He needs to start dressing better.”

“I like it,” Bard admitted with a grin, “It brought back a lot of memories. Like when you and I would ask him for a few grams and spend the whole night smoking in my room.”

“He used to keep the stuff in his jacket’s left inner pocket,” Thranduil sighed happily at the memory as he leant his head on Bard’s shoulder, “Campus security never found it.”

“I take it you guys are still on the stuff?” Dwalin cut in, “Because you’re acting all calm and affectionate. Not like you, Thranduil.”

“Oh shove it.” The elegant blonde replied casually.

As the older members of the group continued to talk, Bilbo and Ori shared a knowing glance over the dinner table and put Ori’s little plan into motion. And for what Bilbo could see, Ori moved first, which was evident by the slight jolt Dwalin made in his seat.

Bilbo reached his hand under the table and gently slid it onto Thorin’s upper thigh, and once the initial surprise wore off, Thorin relaxed into the touch and continued to speak.

The honey-blonde waited a moment before he continued, he wanted Thorin to be comfortable…

His still hand began to rub Thorin’s thigh, back and forth in slow, deliberate motions. He wanted Thorin to feel him. 

And Thorin was feeling him. But he was determined not to let it get to him, he held fast and continued to talk as though Bilbo’s clever hands were getting bold and dangerous under the table. Every stroke grew closer and closer to the part of Thorin that he coveted the most.

‘What is Bilbo doing?’ Thorin thought to himself in a mix of horror and excitement. His sweet little hand was up to no good and was showing no signs of behaving. Bard was trying to tell him about Legolas’s studies and Thorin just couldn’t focus. his sense were half focused on Bilbo, and half on paying attention to whatever Bard was saying.

But it was difficult for Thorin to listen to his friend when his lover had his warm hand sliding closer and closer to the fly of his pants. 

Thorin didn’t know why, but he looked over to Dwalin, who seemed to be in some form of discomfort. Then it hit him… Ori was doing the same thing to Dwalin as Bilbo was to Thorin! Those sneaky young ragamuffins! Dwalin may have lost, but Thorin wasn’t having it!

Thorin had to bite the inside of his cheek when Bilbo slowly began to undo his fly, and that’s when he had had enough. He slid one hand under the table subtly and shot it over to grab Bilbo’s offending hand.

There was no doubting which one of them was stronger. So when Thorin began to guide Bilbo’s hand to his own pants, there was a brief flash of panic before Bilbo hid his true feeling beneath a mask of social convention. 

Thorin didn’t tease Bilbo in the way Bilbo did for him, no, Thorin went for it from the first guided slide directly over Bilbo’s sensitive area.

Bilbo was young, it would only take him a moment to be hard and ready, and as he rose under his Thorin-controlled palm, he bit back a whimper. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go!  
The strong but pleasurable, non-ignorable sensation sent shivers down his spine and made him tremble, he wanted more of it. Thorin’s guiding strength was so good, he wanted Thorin to get him off, public or not.

But then the worst possible thing happened, Thorin drew his hand away.

Feeling satisfied that Bilbo was wanting enough, he took away the pleasant pressure just so he could watch his young lover squirm for an hour or so. And the timing couldn’t be better, because their food arrived, and that meant that Bilbo’s hands will be far from where they were wanted.

Bilbo had to eat dinner and make conversation with a raging hard-on. Nothing could ease the painful tension in the front of his pants. His hands had to be above the table so he could use his knife and fork, and Thorin clearly wasn’t going to help him.

He would have to suffer pure lustful agony until he could get Thorin alone.

He leant over to whisper in Thorin’s ear, “When we get in the car, you’re in trouble.”

“You started it, love.” Thorin whispered back, pressing an innocent kiss to Bilbo’s cheek, “Perhaps you’ll think twice before starting a war with me?”

He was thinking twice, three times even. This was Ori fault for giving him the idea, now he must suffer for his friend’s bad influence on him.

That’s what you get from having mischievous friends and a crafty lover…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> real plot next chapter


	11. The Eleventh Step is to Love Daddy in the way He Deserves...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry everyone, I've had essays to write, but they're done now and i'm free for a little while. if you waited for me, I really appreciate it : )

When dessert arrived Bilbo was feeling no less aroused then when dinner had arrived. Even though Thorin’s hand were very much being kept to himself, the older man was sending Bilbo the filthiest looks. Bilbo tried his best not to squirm in his seat, he tried to resist letting his hand slid beneath the table so he could ease some of the tension.

He tried to focus on the conversation instead.

“Legolas has been acting strange lately,” Thranduil sighed, “I just cannot figure out what that boys thinking.”

“What do you mean?” Thorin asked with a raised brow.

“He’s been so distant lately,” Thranduil continued on, “When he visits home he goes to his room and doesn’t leave, and his phone bill has been through the roof!”

“He’s probably just going through a phase.” Bard offered. He tried to comfort his husband, even though he was just about as clueless as Thranduil in this situation. 

“He’s eighteen and he’s never gone through a phase before.” Thranduil shook his head, “Something’s got our boy fixed.”

“Maybe he’s in love?” Bilbo offered, with only Thorin noticing the strain in his voice.

Of course Thorin and Bilbo already knew the reason, but they weren’t about to out Fili and Legolas’s relationship.

“Nonsense,” Thranduil said with a sure tone, “If he was he’d tell me. We tell each other everything. I gave him the puberty talk and all. I gave it to all our children, that’s why they trust me so much.”

Thorin snorted at the thought but Bard beamed at knowing what a wonderful father his husband is.

“Poor thing must have been traumatized.” Thorin whispered to Bilbo, who smiled into his wine.

“Maybe it’s time for the sex talk though.” Thranduil sighed.

It took all of Thorin and Bilbo’s strength not to laugh, because they knew perfectly well that Legolas was already well acquainted with sex.

Bilbo felt a little calmer, and chanced a look in Ori and Dwalin’s direction. Poor Dwalin looked like he was struggling, his hand that held his fork trembled ever so slightly, he was a lot slower at eating his sticky-date pudding then he normally was.

Ori sent Bilbo a triumphant look that Bilbo couldn’t return.

 

Once dessert was over, Thorin pulled Bilbo to his feet and ushered him to the dancefloor. They kept their bodies close enough to hide Bilbo’s little problem. They waltzed in time with the music and Thorin leant down to whisper in Bilbo’s ear.

“Have you learnt your lesson?”

His husky voice only worsened Bilbo’s condition.

“Yes,” Bilbo whispered back, “Please forgive me, daddy.”

“Daddy will forgive you.” Thorin smirked playfully, “And when we get back to the car I’ll make you feel all better.”

“Can we go now?” Bilbo begged desperately.

“I thought you liked it here? Didn’t you want to go to the ball?”

Bilbo groaned and gripped Thorin’s shoulders, “The only thing I want is your cock, please.”

“First we say goodbye. We must be polite baby.”

Bilbo groaned again and slipped his hand into Thorin’s, where the older man trailed him along as he said farewell to half the people in the room, the vast majority of which he never even said hello to.

They couldn’t find Dwalin and Ori, they had snuck off to the bathroom at some point after dessert.

 

By the time they got back to the car, Bilbo pulled Thorin into the back seat. Thorin undid his belt and pulled his pants down just enough, Bilbo pulled down his own fine tailored pants until they pooled where they were caught at his feet.

Thorin flipped Bilbo onto his stomach and mounted him like the stallion he was, or at least, that’s how he was feeling after having wound Bilbo up so completely.

They had no idea that the people outside the car could see it moving ever so slightly with every movement Thorin made. And the groaning. No one could mistake the groaning.

Bilbo tried to re-enact the hand-print on the steamy car window like in Titanic, but he couldn’t reach it from the position he was in, and ended up just flailing his arm around until he realised it was futile.

Thorin’s previous smugness had dissipated into the sweet and affectionate puppy he always was after the act, much to Bilbo’s delight.

“I love you.” Thorin whispered sweetly, “I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too,” Bilbo replied hoarsely, his voice strained from crying out in passion.

“Marry me.” Thorin said, his words slightly muffled as they pressed to Bilbo’s neck.

“M-Marry you?” Bilbo echoed in disbelief, “Are you serious?”

“I can’t live without you.” Thorin muttered as he nuzzled into Bilbo’s neck, “I know that now isn’t the ideal time to ask, being that I’m still in you and all, but I simply couldn’t hold back.”

There was a long pause, Thorin remained silent to let Bilbo think it over. Maybe it was a bad idea to spring this on him when they were in the back seat of Thorin’s car, and their pants around their ankles. Whatever Bilbo’s answer, Thorin would still love him and want to be with him, and if Bilbo still wanted to be his, he would plan a proper proposal, with dinner and candle light and a fat diamond ring presented in a tiny red-velvet box. 

“I-Yes. Yes I will.” Bilbo blurted out suddenly.

“Really?!” Thorin blurted out with equal suddenness.

“Yes! I-I love you. I don’t- I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

Thorin laughed with joy and pressed dozens of light kisses to Bilbo’s neck. 

“T-Thorin?” 

“Yes, my treasure?”

“Could you pull out?”

“Oh! Sure, sorry.”

 

The car ride home was strangely electric, both Thorin and Bilbo were buzzing with excitement over the progression in their relationship.

“You have to promise not to leave me after I introduce you to my family.” Thorin said after a long but comfortable silence.

“If you’ll do the same for me that would be splendid.”

They both laughed heartily, and Thorin moved one of his hands from the steering wheel so he could hold Bilbo’s hand and gently rub his thumb over his knuckles.

“So, you really want to be tied down to an old man like me?” Thorin asked with a touch of softness in his voice.

Bilbo smiled in return, “Whatever this started out as doesn’t matter. I love you, and to be honest, I’ve never loved anyone. I think I’ll be hanging around for a while yet.”

“I’m glad. I hope you’re looking forward to being Bilbo Durin.”

“Hold on, why won’t it be you becoming Thorin Baggins?”

“If that were the case then I’d have to change the name of my company, and I’d have to get rid of my monogram slippers. If you still want to be a Baggins then you can, it was just a thought.”

“No, it’s fine. I’d like to have the same surname as you. It’ll just take some getting used to.”

 

They went home and showered, then they went to bed. The next day went on as all the other days did, with Thorin going to work and Bilbo remaining home to work on his book. But things were different, Thorin’s mind rested solely on Bilbo and their engagement.

When Dwalin came in so they could go to lunch together, Thorin didn’t even register it until his friend had dropped a pile of papers onto his desk with a loud thud.

“What’s with you? You’re usually more alert during work.”

Thorin stood and straightened his tie, a lopsided grin on his lips as he walked past Dwalin and to the door, “Bilbo and I are getting married.” He said as he left through the door.

“WHAT?!” Dwalin exclaimed loudly, people sent his odd looks and he cleared his throat. “Married?” he whispered with a hiss.

“Yes, married,” Thorin confirmed, “I asked, he said yes.”

Dwalin stood dumbstruck for a moment, “Right, well, congratulations I guess.”

“Thank you. I was going to use my lunch-break to pick out a nice engagement ring, would you like to come along?”

“I, sure I guess.”

 

‘Bifur’s jewellers’ is the best place in the city to get gold and precious gems. Thorin knew because his father got all of his mother’s jewellery there.

Thorin was looking over the glittering engagement rings with great scrutiny, his fiancé wasn’t going to wear anything but the best, even if he would eventually trade it for a golden wedding band.

Thorin could afford it, so it didn’t concern him.

“So what made you want to pop the question? I just thought you and Bilbo would stay together without any of the formalities.” Dwalin asked as he trailed behind Thorin, keeping his eye out for something he or perhaps Ori would like.

“I dunno,” Thorin mumbled, “I just want to be with him for the rest of my life.”

Dwalin nodded, “I get that. Makes sense.”

“I’m getting on, and I think it’s overdue that I had a family of my own.” Thorin added, “Oh, I like this one.”

Dwalin leant over to see the ring Thorin had picked, it was a gold band with five diamonds on it, the gem in the centre was larger than the others, and perhaps larger than all the other gems in the store.

“Bifur!” Thorin called excitedly, “I’ll take this one!”

Bifur the store owner had given Thorin the space to browse, but strutted over at Thorin’s call.

“See something you like, Laddie?” the greying man asked gruffly.

“Yes, I want that one.”

“It’s expensive.”

“I don’t care.”

“Engagement rings are only temporary.”

“I don’t care.”

“It’s fifty thousand. I wouldn’t be a good friend to your father if I didn’t try to talk you out of-”

“Bifur, I want that one.”

“I’ll never understand you rich kids, but ok.”

 

“So Thorin proposed in the back seat of his car?” 

“Yep.”

Bilbo had gotten writers block and called up Ori. They were standing in Thorin’s kitchen with a cup of coffee in each of their hands, Bilbo had just finished explaining the events of the previous night.

“I can’t believe it,” Ori breathed, “I’m happy for you, but I never actually considered you actually marrying each other.”

“Don’t you think you and Dwalin?...”

“I expect it would be at least five to ten years of being together before that would even cross our minds. I can’t help but wonder though…”

“Wonder what?” Bilbo asked.

“You don’t think that, maybe, Thorin is going through a mid-life crisis? I only ask because Dwalin was talking about taking up skateboarding a week ago, and after I talked to him he eventually told me he was feeling old.”

“Thorin hasn’t been acting out of the ordinary,” Bilbo said thoughtfully, “The proposal was unexpected, but I think that it’s been in the back of his mind for a while. Despite all his gruff exterior, he’s actually very affectionate. He has a lot of love to give and I think marrying me is just an extension of that.”

“I think you might be right.” Ori hummed in thought, “But if he talks about taking up extreme sports, that’s the time to worry.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Bilbo laughed. “Why was Dwalin feeling old by the way? He’s fitter than most people our age.”

Ori chuckled lightly, “It’s because he finished before me. He felt like a failure.”

“Is that all?” Bilbo snorted in amusement.

“Yep, his pride was wounded I think.”

Bilbo shook his head, “Men.”

Ori nodded, “I know.” 

They heard the door being opened and Thorin came in with Dwalin walking in close behind. Thorin had a wide grin on his face.

“Ori, I thought you were visiting your publisher today?” Dwalin said as he pressed a kiss to his lover’s lips.

“The meeting finished early and then Bilbo called. What about you? I didn’t expect you to leave work so soon.”

“Thorin’s been mooning for Bilbo all day,” Dwalin whispered so only Ori could hear, “I took advantage of his good mood and suggested we call it a day.”

Ori giggled and the two turned their attention to Thorin and Bilbo.

“How did the writing go today?” Thorin asked.

Bilbo huffed but smiled, “Darling, you’re grinning so much I can tell you have something to say, so why don’t we skip the fake ‘how was your day dear.’”

“Alright.” Thorin reached into his pocket and pulled out a red velvet box, just like the one he had dreamt of presenting Bilbo with. He knelt down on one knee, “I know I asked before, but I want to do it properly now, with our pants on and everything.” He flipped open the lid and the ring he’d picked caused a gasp to come from Bilbo, “Marry me?”

“Yes!” Bilbo sobbed as he rubbed his flooding eyes.

Thorin took the ring out of the box and slipped it on Bilbo’s finger, which promptly slipped back off again. Thorin frantically caught it before it could hit the ground.

Everyone laughed aside from Thorin, who flushed with embarrassment, “I’ll- uh, I’ll get it re-sized.”

 

Thorin wanted to practice how he was going to tell his family that he had met Bilbo online, dated him for only a few months and then proposed to him shortly after they moved in together. So he invited Fili over to be the first to learn of the engagement, and of course, Legolas came with him.

“Uncle! I’m so, so happy for you!” Fili shouted as he leapt from the couch and forced himself into Thorin’s arms.

“Thank you,” Thorin wheezed through Fili’s painful hug.

“I guess I can’t call you Uncle Bilbo now.” Fili winked to Thorin’s fiancé. “When are you going to tell mother?”

Thorin sighed as Fili sat back down next to Legolas, “I’m not sure, but I have to choose the perfect moment. She’s going to be mad at me for not mentioning Bilbo earlier.”

“Yeah she doesn’t like being out of the loop. At least I don’t have to worry about Frerin, he’s off gallivanting around France.” 

“Are you planning on having an engagement party?” Legolas asked.

“Yes, I think so.” Bilbo answered, “We’ll have to, since we’re not having a ceremony.”

The two lovers looked at each other and smiled. They had decided just to go to town hall and register instead of having to go through with all the stress of planning a ceremony. They both disliked drama, and in their opinions, wedding were all drama.

“Aww,” Fili whined, “I wanted to be a groomsman, and Legolas could have been a bridesmaid.”

“Bridesmaid?” the blond said flatly, “Really?”

“And I’m not a bride!” Bilbo exclaimed, “I’m just as much of a groom as Thorin! My position in bed doesn’t change that!”

“Keep telling yourself that, Uncle Bilbo.” Fili grinned. 

Legolas punched him in the arm and Bilbo threw a cushion at him, Thorin simply laughed. He always found Fili to be endearing, Kili too. He loved his nephews with all his heart, and for that brief moment he wondered what it would be like to have a child of his own.

 

Thorin took Bilbo to bed that night with his fiancé wearing only the engagement ring. It was all Thorin needed, his sweetheart and the symbol of their commitment.

“Do you think they’ll like me?” Bilbo asked, his voice in a post-coital whisper.

“Why wouldn’t they? You’re wonderful.” Thorin replied with a soft chuckle.

“But…” Bilbo sighed, “I’ve never asked to meet them because I’m worried that they’ll think of me as some sort of gold digger.”

“How long have you felt like this?” Thorin asked, his brows knitted together.

“Ever since we met,” Bilbo confessed with a forced smile, “I know we never talked about age, but I know what people are thinking when they see us together.”

“I don’t care what they think.” Thorin growled in a low tone, “I love you, and you love me. We’re getting married and that’s that.”

“I wish I had your confidence.”

Thorin tried to reassure Bilbo with a tender kiss. He wanted nothing more than for Bilbo to be happy and assured in their relationship.

 

Three weeks past and Bilbo had been steadily planning the only celebration of their wedding that they were going to have, it turned out that Bilbo had a flare for party planning. Thorin would often return to find Bilbo exactly where he left him, huddled over his desk with a mess of papers around him, snoring lightly.

He woke Bilbo from his sleep and they went to the kitchen to make dinner, “We’ll have the party and go to register the day after. That way we won’t have to have two parties.” Bilbo said as he puttered around the kitchen.

“You’re so clever my love.” Thorin smiled.

“I was thinking that we could go somewhere warm for our honeymoon. I hate these Erebor winters.”

“A fantastic idea, sweetheart.”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I can’t decide what to do with that spare room, do you have any ideas? I was thinking of making it a sewing room but I don’t know if I need a whole room just for sewing, you know?”

“Hmm.” Thorin mumbled, “I’m not sure.”

When they went to bed that night, Thorin couldn’t sleep. He kept thinking of the empty room. So much so that he got out of bed and went to it, the only things in it were some of Bilbo’s old furniture. He hadn’t realised how empty it was until Bilbo pointed it out, in fact, he didn’t realised how empty his life was before Bilbo’s profile picture brought Bilbo into his life.

Things were moving fast, but he would be lying if he said it was a bad thing. Bilbo made him enjoy life, he had become enthusiastic about the simplest joys there were and he was determined to experience more.

And maybe that meant extending their little family.

The idea remained in the back of Thorin’s mind for another week. His work was little distraction from his thoughts, but he still performed as well as he always did. He had a cute little fiancé to provide for, after all.

But it was maddening. He wanted to ask Bilbo about having a child, but he also felt a little selfish. Thorin was secure in his career, but Bilbo’s career hadn’t even begun, not really, could he really ask Bilbo to become a parent when he hadn’t reached his ambitions yet?

Thorin decided to just to it quickly, it would be over and his mind could be at rest, he would accept Bilbo’s response be it yes or no. he opened up his messages, wrote a new one and just sent it without thinking twice.

‘I think we should have a baby.’

After ten minutes of anxious waiting, his phone buzzed with a reply.

‘That is so many shades of wrong.’

Before the shock of the reply could sink in, Thorin’s eye caught sight of the name in the corner of his phone.

Dis.

He read it over and over again, Dis. Dis. Dis. Dis. Dis.

“Oh fucking, fuck, shit fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things may be moving fast but I have a plan ; ) trust me!!!


	12. The Twelfth Step is Giving Daddy a Family...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while watching the fellowship of the ring and I got sad...

Thorin had several choices:

One: He could admit to everything he had been hiding.

Two: He could pretend Dwalin stolen his phone and sent a prank text.

Three: He could say it was auto-correct.

Four: He could claim to be very, very drunk.

But there were flaws with every option, he couldn’t admit to his relationship like this or Dis would be livid. Dwalin wouldn’t steal his phone because he’s not a juvenile and no one knows the pass-code, the words look to deliberate to be auto-correct, and it’s the middle of the day, Thorin never drinks in the middle of the day or during work.

So what was he to do? Before he could decide, Dis texted him again.

‘Don’t even pretend that it was an accident.’

Thorin texted back the first thing he could think of;

‘I’m very drunk.’

‘Thorin, you don’t drink at work.’

‘I did todayasdfghjk’

‘No, you’re faking it, you don’t text when you’re drunk. Just tell me the truth.’

‘I had sooooo many shotsssssss.’  
I’m not laughing Thorin.’

‘You have small feet.’

‘You’re only making it worse for yourself.’

Thorin was sweating, he was in some real trouble now because of his attempts to cover up his mistaken text. He knew he was only delaying the inevitable, he knew that he should just be a man and admit to having a beautiful young fiancé whom he wanted to have a child with. But…

‘Im gonna order another round, l8tr sisss #lol #imdrunk.’

He collapsed his head onto his desk and groaned. He’d never use a hashtag, but he didn’t know what else to do. Dis was going to confront him, he knew it, and he dreaded it.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want his family to know of how his life was going, he loved his family and enjoyed the closeness they all shared, but dating had never been easy for Thorin.

His first girlfriend was scared away by his sister’s wit. She couldn’t keep up with her topics of conversation.

His second girlfriend was stolen by Frerin. Not that Thorin cared all that much.

After realising his preference for men, Thorin got a boyfriend. Also stolen by Frerin, he cared a little bit more that time.

Dating had become a chore for Thorin, he forgave his sister for her high conversation standards, and he forgave his brother for his promiscuity on the grounds that he wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who could be fooled by Frerin’s idiotic charm.

Years of one night stands and simple disinterest had led him to Bilbo.

And then nothing that had come before mattered to Thorin one bit.

He simply chose to put off introducing Bilbo for that sake of getting to know Bilbo without the hindrance of his family. But doing so might make things difficult for Bilbo now. He didn’t know what to do, but his work was piling up, so he turned his mind to less personal matters.

 

Bilbo read and re-read his latest chapter, it wouldn’t be long until it was time for him to present his manuscript to a publisher, and then, hopefully, he would be a published novelist. Which had been his dream since childhood.

Feeling proud of himself, he decided to reward his efforts with a cup of tea. He left his desk and went into the kitchen, flicking on the kettle and retrieving his favourite mug from the cupboard. He sighed contently and let his eyes wander around the apartment. It really looked like a loving home. Of course, Bilbo had a lot to do with that, he had added some colour and life to a place that was once mostly black and sterile. It’s amazing what a few framed pictures, a couple of antique lamps and some cushions can do.

The kettle was finished boiling and Bilbo made a move to retrieve his favourite tea, Old Toby, but was diverted when he heard a knock at the door.

He went to the door and opened it slowly, there stood a woman with long, lush hair that was every bit as inky black as Thorin’s, her cool blue eyes met Bilbo’s, both of them surprised to see the other. She looked familiar.

“Can I… Help you?” Bilbo asked cautiously.

“That remains to be seen,” She replied, “If you can answer some of my questions.”

“That depends on who’s asking.” Bilbo replied as politely as he could.

“I’m Thorin’s sister. I simply want to know who it is he wants to have a baby with.”

“A b-baby?” Bilbo flushed bright red, his hands came to rest on his heated cheeks, “He w-wants to have a baby? W-with me? Oh goodness…”

“So you’re his mysterious sweetheart,” She smiled, “Might I come in, um…”

“Oh! Bilbo Baggins, it’s nice to meet you Dis.” Bilbo stuck out his hand to shake the other’s hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Bilbo. Has my brother spoken of me?” 

“Yes, you’re his youngest sibling and only sister. There’s a picture of you on the bookcase. Would you like to come in? I was just about to make tea.” Bilbo gestured to the door with a sweep of his arm.

She smiled and nodded, walking through the doorway with Bilbo following close behind,

Bilbo flicked the kettle on again to re-heat the water. Dis sat down at the table and Bilbo leant against the bench. “So, Thorin wants to have a baby… with me?”

“That’s what he said, before he tried to cover it up. Once he figured it out that he’d mistakenly sent the message to me, he pretended he was drunk.” Dis retrieved her phone from her imported leather handbag and handed it to Bilbo, who read through the most resent and most unfortunate texts Thorin had sent to Dis.

“That fool.” Bilbo mumbled under his breath. Though his heart did skip a beat at the first text. 

‘I think we should have a baby.’

“You can understand my shock, I was simply going over my weeks’ schedule when I came to realise that my dear brother was in a secret relationship.” Dis sighed and shook her head, “Thorin’s far too paranoid.”

Bilbo handed back her phone and made two cups of tea, taking a seat near Dis. “I don’t know what to say except he was planning on introducing us, he simply wanted to wait for the right time.”

Dis scoffed, “The right time for Thorin would be his death bed. It hurt a little, knowing that he thinks I can’t handle knowing of his relationships.”

Bilbo sat silently with his eyes downcast. What was he supposed to say? That he was afraid of being judged so he didn’t push Thorin to introduce him to his family?

“You’re quite young, aren’t you?” Dis said thoughtfully.

Bilbo flinched slightly, “I suppose I am, and so are you, for a mother with two university aged sons.”

Dis laughed lightly, “Teenage pregnancy will do that.”

Bilbo blinked twice and lifted his eyes, Dis continued to smile.

“It’s not a taboo subject, and I’m not ashamed. I simply got a little carried away with my deep and thoughtful artist boyfriend and now husband.”

“Thorin didn’t mention that,” Bilbo noted, “But then again, I don’t know much about you at all.”

“Well, I’m here to change that.” Dis grinned, “So, Bilbo Baggins, how did you win my brother’s heart? And how did you get him to give you that massive diamond ring?”

Bilbo flushed bright red and took a sip of his tea, he would need a lot of energy to get through this explanation.

 

“So there you have it,” Bilbo concluded, “The most unorthodox love story you’ve ever heard.”

“Wow,” Dis exclaimed, “My brother is such a fool at love. He really sent you a refrigerator?”

“Yes.” Bilbo chuckled. “It was a surprise to say the least.”

“Hmm.” Dis hummed and leant back on her chair. “From what I can tell, Bilbo, you’re a nice person and you obviously care about my brother, and don’t worry so much about the age thing. It’s not like either of you could help it.”

Bilbo found himself feeling greatly relieved at the statement. 

“So, all of my questions are answered, save for one.”

“And what might that be?” Bilbo asked curiously.

“What do you think of having a child with my brother?” She asked gently, “Would you consider it?”

“I-“ Bilbo stuttered, “I think this is a conversation I should be having with him.”

“You’re right,” Dis nodded, “I’m sorry, I think I might have gotten carried away.”

Bilbo smiled, “It’s fine, really, it’s sweet that you care so much. I don’t have any siblings so it makes me kind of envious.”

“I’ll be your sister soon enough, at least by marriage. You can have noisy Christmas’s and birthdays, just the kind that Thorin hates.” Dis reached out and patted Bilbo’s hand affectionately, the two smiling like they’d found a friend.

“I’d like that.”

 

Bilbo was at his desk when Thorin returned from work, he had to put in some extra hours to make up for his absent-mindedness. It was just past dinner time when he made it home.

“Bilbo, I’m sorry I’m late.” Thorin said softly.

Bilbo looked over to Thorin with surprise in his eyes, “Late? What time is it?”

“Just past seven. Have you been writing all day?” Thorin smiled as he approached the desk.

“I suppose I have,” Bilbo yawned, “I can’t believe I forgot about dinner! I’m so sorry Thorin!”

“It’s ok, why don’t we order something to be delivered here? You can tell me about your book while we wait.”

Bilbo had something else he wanted to talk about, but first, they had to order takeout.

 

With their pizza on route, they settled on the couch and snuggled together, Bilbo in Thorin’s lap and their arms around each other.

“I have something I need to ask you.” Thorin prompted softly.

“And what might that be?” Bilbo asked in an equally soft tone.

“I know that this has all been happening pretty fast, but I want- I want a real life with you. I want a family with you… a child.”

Bilbo exhaled a deep breath, he’d been expecting Thorin to bring it up. And he’d been prepared for it. Admits all his writing, the question had been simmering in his mind, and he had an answer.

“I’d love to have a child with you, Thorin.”

“Really?” Thorin whispered in happy disbelief, “If you’d rather wait for your career to progress a little more-“

“Thorin,” Bilbo soothed, “I can have a career and a child, and I’ll have you there too. Let’s do it. Let’s have a child.”

Thorin smiled and exhaled, closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against Bilbo’s. “I never thought I’d find someone I’d want to marry, and I never thought I’d have a child, but you’ve given me both my love.”

“And you’ve given me the same.” Bilbo kissed Thorin’s nose affectionately, “Now we know what to do with that spare room.”

As they ate their pizza, Thorin smiled at Bilbo and laughed, “You know, I was going to ask you about having a child via text, but I accidently sent it to my sister instead! Luckily I managed to convince her I was drunk.”

Thorin looked so proud of himself, Bilbo couldn’t bear to tell him that he was as subtle as a punch in the face in is fake texting, but he had too, he couldn’t keep Dis’s visit a secret.

“Actually, your sister paid me a visit today.” Bilbo mumbled as he nibbled at his slice of pizza.

“No.” Thorin whispered, his hands dropping to his lap, “She didn’t.”

“She did, we had a very long chat and I explained everything. She wasn’t mad, by the way, she was just a little hurt that you didn’t trust her.” Bilbo smiled softly.

Thorin huffed and felt a touch of guilt, “Maybe I was a little immature.”

“She took your favourite mug as revenge.”

“THAT BITCH!!!”

 

Like with the party planning, Thorin left it to Bilbo to decide how they would have a child. Bilbo didn’t mind it, because Thorin was always there to discuss things when Bilbo needed. He was just doing the leg work, so to speak. He first considered surrogacy, like Bard and Thranduil did, so he and Thorin met up with them to discuss it.

They all sat in their living room, all the pleasantries completed and the tea served.

“How did you go about it? How did you decide who was the right mother?” Bilbo asked eagerly, his hands and Thorin’s entwined intimately.

“Back then it was a little more difficult and less choices.” Bard began, “But we were lucky to find a nice hippy woman who wanted to ‘create life’, so she said, but she didn’t want to take care of the child that would result in the creation.”

“I think having children made her feel more in tune with Mother Nature.” Thranduil added, “But her reasons didn’t concern us, she was the best choice by far due to her young age and healthy diet. She was kind and never took anything mind-altering.”

“Thranduil was the father of Legolas, and I fathered the others,” Bard offered, “We didn’t care which of us was related to the child by blood.”

“And you used the same mother for all of them?” Thorin asked.

“Yes, Iris was the mother of all of them.” Thranduil huffed in good humour and shook his head, “She’s a good woman, and she sends us a sea-shell every summer solstice.” 

Thorin snorted with amusement and Bilbo grinned.

Bard ran his fingers through his hair, “We were lucky, I’ve heard stories of surrogates wanting to keep the children they birth, or fighting against same-sex parents. Iris was kind and accepting, even if she never brushed her hair.”

“Tilda has that same unruly hair.” Thranduil mumbled, “And the same rebellious spirit against footwear.”

“Have you decided which one of you will be the father?” Bard asked.

“Well, we haven’t decided if we want to use surrogacy yet.” Bilbo answered, “We thought we’d see what you have to say and take that into consideration.”

“What about adoption?” Thranduil inquired, “You could make a lonely child very happy.”

“We’re going to visit a children’s home next week.” Thorin explained, “We’re just exploring our options. We’d like to have a child as soon as possible. Or at least soon after the honeymoon.”

“Whatever you choose, you can’t go wrong.” Bard smiled, “Either way, you’ll have a family of your own.”

 

Thorin and Bilbo had thought about it for a while, they had discussed it at length, but they had gotten no closer to deciding what to do. 

“Maybe if we go to a children’s home and just see if there is anyone there who would be right for us, it’ll help us make a decision.” Bilbo said one morning as he set Thorin’s breakfast down on the table.

“If you think that will help.” Thorin sighed, rubbing his tired eyes.

The issue had been weighing heavily on both of their minds, and with their betrothal/wedding party closing in on them, they really wanted to have this last piece of their life in place.

“I’ll call ahead and see if we need to make an appointment.” Bilbo added, “If there’s a chance we could get in today, would you be able to come home from work early? I-I know you’ve missed a lot because of me, but I just-“

“Don’t fret, sweetheart.” Thorin smiled warmly, “I’m sure Dwalin won’t mind covering for me if it’s for something this important.”

 

Bilbo did call the children’s home, and found out that he and Thorin could come by sometime after noon. The two drove there feeling nervous, but also hopeful that maybe they would end the day with the promise of their family growing.

‘Erebor City Children’s Home’ was written in gold on a plaque at the gate, which was set by a perimeter of high stone walls. The building itself was made of a cheery red brick with a classic ivy creepy upwards along the side of the building. Thorin and Bilbo could hear children playing as they knocked on the door.

It was answered by an elderly man with a grey beard and kind eyes, he smiled at them. “Mr Baggins and Mr Durin, I presume?”

“Yes,” Bilbo replied politely, “You must be Mr Grey, we spoke on the phone.”

“Indeed we did, please come in.” He stepped from the door and led Thorin and Bilbo passed reception and further into the building until they ended up in an office, Mr Grey sat down and Thorin and Bilbo sat opposite him.  
He shuffled some papers before finally speaking again, “Now then, I’ll have to ask you both some questions before I let you see the children, standard protocol and all that. We’ll start with you, Mr Durin.”

“Of course.” Thorin said in a serious tone, straightening his back as he did so.

“So, you are to be married in one week, correct?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve never been convicted of any crimes?”

“No.”

“Have you ever taken an illicit substance?”

“No.”

“Not even during University?”

“No.”

“You can tell me.”

“No.”

“Not even a little?”

“No.”

“So you’re telling me that you’ve never smoked a joint behind the bike shed?”

“For the last time, NO!” Thorin shouted.

“Quick to anger.” Mr Grey said as he wrote on his paper.

“No I’m not!”

“Prone to arguing.” Mr Grey added.

“You’re being unfair!” Thorin complained loudly. 

“Also a little childish.” Mr Grey mumbled one more time.

Thorin was seething at the man, but Bilbo’s hand on his kept him from leaping across the desk and strangling Mr Grey with his own beard.

“Now, Mr Baggins.” Mr Grey prompted, “It’s your turn.”

“Y-Yes.” Bilbo nodded, feeling nervous as to what the man would say to him.

Mr Grey’s large eyebrows drew together in a serious focus. 

“Have you ever cared for a child before?”

“Not really.”

“What makes you think you can raise a child when you’ve had very little contact with them? And according to your file, you’ve no siblings.”

“I will love our child with all my heart, and care for and protect him or her to the best of my ability.”

“Can you fight?”

“What?”

“If I were to punch you in the face right now, would you be able to block it or would you have a very sore face?”

“I-I suppose I won’t be able to block it, per se-“

“Possible weakling.” Mr Grey said as he scribbled down more words. “So why do you think you can protect a child, if you can’t protect yourself?”

“Because the child’s safety is more important than mine!” Bilbo declared loudly.

Mr Grey sat back in his chair, “Hmm.” He hummed.

Thorin and Bilbo sat there, both of them had never felt such tension hang in the air before, they felt as though their very future relied on them impressing this man, to prove to him and to themselves that they could care for a child and raise him or her well.

“I gave you both background checks and called your references as soon as we got off the phone, I think you are suitable to adopt one of our precious children.”

“So what was all the interrogation for?” Thorin growled lowly.

Mr Grey grinned, “I like to have a little fun every now and then.” He replied with an amused tone, “If you can learn to handle my childishness then I think you’ll do well with an actual child.”

Bilbo exhaled steadily and Thorin grumbled under his breath. 

“So, are you looking for a boy or girl?” Mr Grey asked.

The question took them both by surprise, they hadn’t even thought of that…

“Um, we don’t know.” Bilbo answered unsteadily.

“Hmm.” Mr Grey hummed, “Child or infant?”

Thorin and Bilbo looked at each other, “We haven’t thought about that.” Thorin grumbled.

“No matter.” Mr Grey said as he stood from his desk and prompted Thorin and Bilbo to do the same. “We’ll take a walk.”

The building was a lot bigger than they had thought, the hallways seemed to stretch on and led to something different each time. They passed a little library, a computer lab, an art room, until they came across a hall with a stork painted on the walls.

“This is the nursery.” Mr Grey explained, “This is where the babies are kept.”

Thorin and Bilbo looked through the window and into the room full of a dozen cradles. Each baby was wrapped in their gender assigned colour. Bilbo spoke softly, “Could we go in?”

“Yes, but we must be quiet.”

They moved into the room as quiet as shadows, Thorin allowing Bilbo to take the lead. He stopped at a cradle that held a tiny baby boy. He was awake, his big blue eyes peered curiously at Bilbo and Thorin.

“He has eyes like you.” Bilbo whispered fondly. “And your dark hair.”

“Indeed,” Thorin whispered with a smile on his lips, “And your curls.”

Mr Grey picked up the boys clipboard from the end of his cradle. “He was brought to us three days ago.” He began, “His birth parents were in an accident and his next of kin couldn’t take him. He’s not yet five months.”

“His name?” Bilbo whispered as he offered his fingers for the little baby to hold.

“We couldn’t find a birth certificate, and his next of kin didn’t know, so he’s just been dubbed baby Brandybuck. Which was his parent surname.”

“Hello there, baby,” Thorin said in an impossibly soft tone. He didn’t know if he imagined it, but he hoped he didn’t, but he thought he saw the infant smile at him.

That was enough for Thorin. He took Bilbo’s hand and squeezed it lightly, “I think he’s the one, Bilbo.”

“I-I think so too,” Bilbo smiled, “He looks so much like us, it’s almost like he is our boy.”

Thorin and Bilbo grinned widely and came together for a strong kiss.

“We’ll take him!” Thorin declared as loudly as he could while still in a whisper.

“This isn’t a car lot, you don’t simply take a child home with you the day you pick one. There’s paperwork, I need to inspect your home, is it baby proofed?” Mr Grey reminded with a small smile.

“No…” Thorin said with a touch of embarrassment.

Best get to it then,” Mr Grey ordered playfully, don’t get ahead of yourselves, but I do like your enthusiasm, Mr Durin.”

As they drove back home later that afternoon, Thorin shouted, “Seriously what was with that guy?!”

“I know!” Bilbo shouted back, “He was such a strange guy!”

There was a short, silent pause.

“Nice guy though.” Thorin mumbled honestly.

“Yeah he was.” Bilbo agreed. “We should invite him over for tea.”

“Sure.” Thorin nodded. 

There was another silent pause.

“When we have the child, what will we go by? Who is daddy and who is papa?” Bilbo asked.

“I’ll be daddy.” Thorin answered with a curt nod.

“I dunno…” Bilbo said with a grimace.

“Why is that?”

“Well… I call you daddy.”

Another pause.

“I can see how that could be bad.”

“So you’re papa.”

“Yes.”

“And I’m daddy.”

“Only outside the bedroom.”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next one will probs be the last, but I was thinking of making a sequel with Thorin and Bilbo raising little baby (guess who).  
> Would you guys read that? I promise I can make it funny! Let me know if you're interested : )


	13. The Last Step is to Be Happy With Daddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry about how long this took! i'm happy that this is done and we all have closure, I hope you enjoy!

Thorin and Bilbo had been working diligently to get things ready for Mr Grey’s inspection, which was to happen sometime that day. Though they were positive that every possible danger was taken care of, Bilbo insisted that they go over everything just to be sure.

“I checked the cabinets again.” Bilbo fretted for what seemed like the millionth time that day, “That should do. But oh, what if we missed something?”

“Love,” Thorin sighed, “We’ll be fine. We’ve done everything that we can do.”

“I don’t trust that old man.” Bilbo said warily, “What if he has some strange and unexpected test for us? He would probably light something on fire just to see how we handle it.”

“I’m sure he won’t go that far.” Thorin laughed nervously. There was every chance that the old man would go that far, but he wasn’t going to tell Bilbo that.

Bilbo collapsed onto the couch with a groan and Thorin did the same, but without the dramatics. He took Bilbo’s hand in his as a show of reassurance and solidarity. 

“Just think, in a no time at all we’ll have a little child of our own to spoil and fawn over, and all this will be nothing more than a memory.” They sighed in unison and melted against each other, until Bilbo shot out of his seat, nearly head-butting Thorin in the process.

“We haven’t picked a name for him yet!” Bilbo cried out in horror, “What kind of parents don’t give their baby a name! Thorin! What do we do?!”  
Before Thorin could restore sanity to his distraught love, there was a heavy handed knock at the door that signalled the arrival of Mr Grey. Bilbo rushed over to the door and flung it open with too much force, clearly appearing frazzled to the older man at the other side of the door.

“Mr Baggins?” Mr Grey questions with a quirk of his brow, “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, yes, everything’s fine.” Bilbo assured with a quick gathering of his composure, “Please come in.”

“Thank you,” The older man replied as he stepped into the fine apartment, “I see you’ve prepared brunch?”

“Yes!” Bilbo replied, “Please take a seat. Would you like some tea? Coffee? We’ve got some old bottles of wine around here somewhere…”

“Just tea, thank you.” He smiled, “And please calm yourself Mr Baggins, it’s not for your health to be so worried.”

Thorin chuckled and took a seat with Mr Grey, Bilbo huffed at him and brought over a pot of tea.

Mr Grey began helping himself to some scons, buttering one as he spoke, “You’ve been approved to take little baby Brandybuck on the day that you requested, you’ll just have to sign some additional paperwork and the home.”

“And that’ll be it?” Bilbo asked as he poured the tea for their guest.

“Pretty much.” The old man replied, “After I look over your home a bit, of course.”

“Yes, we’ve prepared for that.” Bilbo added proudly.

“We’ll see.” Mr Grey said into his tea cup.

 

After a somewhat tense but delicious brunch, Mr Grey began his inspection with Thorin and Bilbo hovering close behind.

Mr Grey produced a clipboard from his bag and began ticking and marking the paper as he saw fit, he eyed the condition of the home in terms of it cleanliness and general safety. Thorin was glad that he put away his sword collection. And after a while of opening cabinets and testing possibly sharp corners, he scribbled down some more notes.

Mr Grey went into Thorin and Bilbo’s bedroom, going straight to the bedside drawers and opening the top one. He reached in one hand and smoothly pulled out a long line of unused condoms. He eyed them before raising a brow at the couple.

“You should consider hiding these better, they’re choking hazards you know.”

 

“Bilbo says the same thing.” Thorin replied all too seriously.

Bilbo’s eyes widened in horror and embarrassment and batted Thorin’s arm. Thorin was always Mr Grumpy, why did he have to be making jokes on a day like this?!

Mr Grey’s steady chuckle told Bilbo that it was ok, but he was still cross at his fiancé for making that remark to a stranger.

The man moved over to the bed and flung the sheets down, the sheets that Bilbo had meticulously tucked in so neatly. The sheets were clean and there was nothing there that would cause alarm. “It’s quite common for a child to crawl into their parent’s bed, keep the sheets clean and don’t hide things under the sheets, even in a moment of panic.” Mr Grey explained.

Bilbo was confused as to what people would hide in haste, but he nodded anyway.

“Now, where is the baby’s room?” He asked.

“Through here.” Bilbo provided with an eager desire to move on.

They were quite proud of the nursery. Thorin had put together a crib of dark, chocolate brown wood with a cream coloured mattress and matching sheets. There was also a rocking chair of the same material, as well as a changing table. The walls had been painted by Bofur, being the artistic genius he was. The scene showed rolling green hills and blue skies.

Mr Grey nodded and murmured to himself as he took down some more notes. “You seem to be well equipped. But I must warn you, you’re going to need a good network of friends and family if you’re going to handle this. No offence, but you’re fresh out of University Mr Baggins, and Mr Durin, you’ve been work-driven for most of your life. It might be difficult for you to take on this task.”

“We have all the support we need.” Thorin assured him, albeit a little crossly, “I assure you, Bilbo and I didn’t get into this thinking that it would be just like a game of house.”

“You’ll also need to keep that temper in check, Thorin.” Mr Grey replied light-heartedly.

When the old man left, the couple felt a great deal of relief. They had passed, and now all they had to do was wait for their baby to be brought to them.

“I wish that we didn’t have to deal with all our family and friends,” Thorin grumbled as he and Bilbo snuggled into their bed for the night, “I just want it to be us.”

“Mmm, me too.” Bilbo agreed, “But there’s no helping it, they won’t leave us alone for at least the first eighteen years of our child’s life. If we get through the party, I’m sure we’ll manage it.”

“Right, the party… Is there any way we could cancel it?”

Bilbo laughed softly, “Your sister is still mad at you for not introducing me sooner, I don’t think it would do for us to make her even madder.”

“You have a point…”

 

Thorin hated throwing parties. It meant a messy house, loud and nosey guests that would look through his things and not know when to leave, and piles of uneaten food he wouldn’t even begin to know how to deal with.

But at least this time he had Bilbo to cook the food, prepare the house, and make pleasantries with the guests when Thorin couldn’t keep it up any longer.

It was their engagement/wedding party, so Thorin decided to try his best, even if the very thought of his sister’s prying questions and his brother’s innuendo filled jokes did flood his mind with dread.

The first to arrive were Dwalin and Ori, of course, so it gave them time to ease into a pleasant social atmosphere.

But Dwalin had to go and brag about all the time he’s spent at the gym, leaving Thorin with apparently no choice but to arm wrestle with his oldest friend.

Ori and Bilbo looked on with bemusement at the turn of events, seeing that their ‘mature’ men were happy being as juvenile as teenagers.

It ended with Thorin loss, but both of them sported sore arms. Bilbo could see how crestfallen Thorin was, so he made a point to gush about how strong he was. Thorin promised he’d get him next time.

“Are you nervous about meeting the rest of Thorin’s family?” Ori asked to shift the focus.

“A little, but it’s just his brother, brother-in-law and other nephew. I’ve met his sister and oldest nephew already.”

“Vili’s a nice guy.” Dwalin provided, “Doesn’t talk much. Makes him good company.”

“Dis’s husband?”

“Yep. Every bit as blond as Fili but only half as foolish. He lives for Dis.”

Thorin snorted in laughter, “Leave it to my sister to marry the submissive, quiet kind of guy. She could never handle two personalities in the relationship.”

Said woman and her husband arrived shortly after, with Fili and Kili in tow. The first thing Kili did was rush and Thorin.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in a relationship and were planning to adopt?! You told Fili!” He pouted grumpily.

Bilbo couldn’t believe how much Kili resembled his uncle, he was a softer version but they had the same hair and eyes, and the beginnings of the same features.

Thorin patted his teenage nephew on the head, “I didn’t mean to have Fili find out, he was just being a pest at the right time. I promise that you’ll be the first to hold our son.”

“Really?” Kili said sceptically, “Promise?”

“I promise,” Thorin smiled, “Now meet my fiancé, Bilbo.”

Bilbo extended his hand in friendship. And instead got an arm full of the emotional teen. “Uncle Bilbo! It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Kili, and you’re favourite nephew!”

“Hey!” Fili called, “He loves me the most!”

The argument went on until Bard, Thranduil, and Legolas arrived, because Fili’s focus shifted once more to the object of his unyielding affections.

“Your home is… cute.” Thranduil said in an almost compliment as he handed Thorin the gift they’d brought.

“I’m glad you approve.” Thorin grumbled back before he shook Bard’s hand, “I wouldn’t judge you if you got divorced.” He whispered.

“Sorry Thorin,” Bard smiled, “I’m in it for the long haul.”

Their last guest, Frerin, arrived in a whirlwind of dramatic hello, then proceeded to say inappropriate things to Bilbo, and then straight on to Thorin’s nerves.

“You’re a dick.”

“I’m just saying that you’re probably going to miss going on vacation whenever you want, going to dinner, or screwing Bilbo whenever you want. It’s a mistake, you won’t have any time to yourselves!“

“Frerin.” Thorin growled, “If only our parents had the same attitude before you were spawned.”

“Ouch!” Frerin laughed, “I do love these little chats of ours, darling big brother, but judging by the pulsating vein in your forehead I think it’s time for me to go annoy Dis for a while.”

“Please do.” Thorin replied through grit teeth.

Bilbo’s hand was on Thorin’s shoulder as he pressed a kiss to Thorin’s bearded cheek, “Calm down love, he’s just playing around. It’s… cute.” 

“Try growing up with him being that ‘cute’ all the time.”

 

They sat around to open the gifts that were brought. Bilbo did the honours and gleefully tore away the wrapping paper.

Dis and Vili had given them a selection of Fili and Kili’s old toys. They were a little worn, but their sturdiness had been proved after years of rough handling. Thranduil, true to his style gave them the most opulent looking baby clothes that anyone in the room had ever seen. He must have spent hours stitching together these tiny garments of every colour. Thranduil tried to play it off as nothing, but they all knew he put a lot of work into it. Dwalin and Ori gave them a Mobil for the crib, it had a red dragon and knights on it, and played a sweet tune when it was wound up.

Frerin gave them a framed picture of himself, which was begrudgingly accepted.

All of the worried that Thorin had before the party had started seemed relatively unfounded. It turned out to be a pleasant evening. Everyone got on well enough and they only had to pull Fili and Legolas apart three times.

At the end of the night, they gave a toast to Thorin and Bilbo and their family.

The next day, they drove to city hall, signed the marriage registry and became husbands.

But that wasn’t even the best part of their day, because they drove over to the Children’s Home and picked up their son. Baby Frodo. 

Thorin, a once workaholic turned Sugar Daddy, was now a Husband and Father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, I love you all for supporting me and this fic xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you want to see more! Thanks for reading : )


End file.
